[Intro]

2, 3, 4

[Verse 1]

Now, listen up, you know, ya come home from that nine-to-five and lay yourself down on that, uh that burgundy couch

You know, it never was really burgundy

It was red, and you painted with the goddamn spray paint and now you have bits and pieces of burgundy stuck to your butt every time you get up off of it

You never tell your family, you never tell your family because, you know, ol' Junior, he got a little crazy with the ol PBJ one day, and what can you do? What can you do?

[Chorus]

Grab yourself a can of pork soda

You'll be feeling just fine

Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house

Swillin' down them cans of swine

Ha ha ha! Yes, it's a ditty alright!

[Verse 2]

Well, alright, I'm really starting to worry about you

You just had to have that two-car garage with the large driveway so you could park that goddamn boat in it

If it wasn't for the boat [?]. And what are you doing? You got yourself a, a Costco socket, a climbing rope and a broken screwdriver. And ya know [?] what the hell he’s doing or what’s goin’ on cause everyone’s telling you

[Chorus]

Grab yourself a can of pork soda

You'll be feeling just fine

Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house

Swillin' down them cans of swine

[Bridge]

Yeah, cans of swine

I like cans of swine

I-I mean like cans of swine

Not like Kansas wine

[Outro]

Well, maybe it's something simpler, you know, like your team lost or your girlfriend used to be a guy, you know, I don't know

I mean, I’m not like a psychologist or anything [?] well what's the difference [?] (blah blah blah)