[Verse]

Left the gunshot in the ceiling

Dealt with the goddamn feeling

Not sure if all of this should end

Cause i don't wanna be like my past self

I ain't my own goddamn friend

Don't want new people to join and have problems, and just get distracted from my health

Pushing the knife further into my chest

I'm not thinking all of this is blessed

Why you care 'bout the person that made you mad?

People just assume i cry every time i get goddamn sad

Slicin' out the blood from my wrist

Puttin' all the memories asidе, put them to mist

Bein' forgiveful whilе you homies act annoyed

Said i was gon' hop in the hate train

The void

Feel like in the future, i would go insane

Askin' like, hows the weather down there

Do actions like a dare

All of these actions i do now feel like excuses

Feel like when i was protecting them, felt like words were misuses

You only say my name and ignore me afterwards

You didn't use the right words

Why you only care 'bout me if I make you sad a bunch of times

Feel like my suicide is gonna make a lot of crimes

I don't even trust myself anymore

Leave to slice my throat open, bleed out on the carpet, and be sore

I feel like if I make you sad again, it'll make a war

Check myself out at the back alley of a drugstore

Shot a bullet right into my head

It ain't no more stories when I'm in bed

Y'know apologies sometimes can't fix everything

Choke myself with multiple strings

Can't even count the times I made multiple goddamn mistakes

These ain't turnin' into breaks

When I'm takin' a break, just so you know I'm slicing my wrist

Punch myself in the head with my own fist

Imma probably die on the day of my surgery

Cause I can't even comprehend my misery

Feel obligated to do multiple projects so you homies can be happy

Miss my grand pappy

This is the worst year ever

Cryin' 'til my vision blurs