What is left to figure out

With lowered bars and loveless doubt

I couldn’t ever hear your voice

It was hollow like a vase

I searched the world for a sign

That I was yours and you were mine

But even when we shared a name

I could never remember your face

How quickly a memory fades

I don’t feel like myself tonight

I don’t feel like myself tonight

I don’t have the will to try

To look directly in your eye

I dreamt of your death again

But you keep resurrecting

I wished you well with an empty hand

And changed my expression

When the camera panned

I don’t know if I am myself

But it’s not life it’s acting

I hope that my performance is satisfactory

With and innocent eye

You perceived the world

As a place where we could thrive

And with the softest hands

You held me down so I could catch my breath

And see the sunrise

In the morning hour

Everything on earth feels right

I don’t feel like myself tonight

I don’t feel like myself tonight

I’ve lost all hope in shedding light

I’ve broken the teeth I used to bite

Just shaven legs and endless skin

Some real distracted worshiping

Every film that I’ve ever seen

Those dancing light upon the screen

They want me to believe again

But it’s not art it’s marketing

You think you know what I want

But I want nothing

With a creative mind

I captured all the world and I made it mine

And with your calloused hands

You held me like an egg

Never wanted me to break

But I was never yours to save

And I was never quite awake

Stuck in a daydream

I don’t feel like myself tonight

I don’t feel like myself tonight

I haven’t felt like myself for so long

I don’t remember what it feels like

And I don’t feel like myself tonight

I don’t feel like myself tonight

There’s something scratching behind my eyes

Just trying to get out of my head

With childlike defiance

Every single thing that you know about me

My desires and behaviors and my history

Gathered so arbitrarily

But it’s not love it’s science