I can't seem to explain

How my heart seems to ache

My thoughts creep in and I am wide awake

It's more than just a beat

It cradles me and then ever so slightly

Tightens its grip before I suffocate

Why do I say things I'll regret

Why do I do things I wish I could forget

Why must I feel, why do I hide

Why can't I let go of making mistakes for once in my life

But I guess I'm fine

Same people telling me different things

I'm tired but I'll listen anyway

When can I feel safe

Here it comes, finds its way inside

Tells me to turn off the lights and lock the door

It wants me to cry some more

Why do I care when no one does

Why does it hurt after all she's won

When will I drown, cause I'm in too deep

Why do I let myself off just to overthink

But I won't show I'm weak

Why, why, why, why

Why, why, why, why

I can't seem to explain

People ask me why I'm not okay

It's better to leave it that way

It's more than just feeling bad

It's more than that, but they don't understand

So it doesn't matter to them

Why do I hate the things I write

Why does my room feel far too tight

Where is your mind, where is your smile

Where is the alcohol, and where is all my time

But I'll be fine