Dear everything

Today I witnessed a crucifixion

In pink and lavender and gold

I've heard people say

That beauty is in the details

But I don't think

They have ever seen you

There were mortal wounds

Inflicted on the sky

And incriminating blue stains on my shirt

The shirt you bought for me

Christ it hurts

Like stars in my belly going supernova

I feel like a zombie that refuses to live

Haunting the junkyards

And cutting myself on scraps of you

The other day

I masturbated to pictures of you

At your birthday party

They were the only ones I still had

It felt so wrong

Just like my life

I hope I'm dead

By the time you read this

I love you