[Intro: Phone-EG]

(Action movie playing)

— The fuck's this popcorn at, G? And my fucking soda… (soda can opening) Oh, there it is

(Message tone)

— Who's texting me, dawg? … This ting's kinda sweet. Her bum's nice, yo, Phone-E should plug that (chuckles)

(Gunshots in the background)

— This movie's boring, G…

[Dialogue: Phone-EG, Big Squidward and unknown]

(Door banging repeatedly)

P: Yo, who the fuck's banging my door like that, dawg?

(Banging continues)

P: Yo, easy on the door, dawg!

(Door swings open)

S: Yo! Fu– what's wrong with them, dawg!

(Speaking over each other)

U: Yo, yo, fam! Hold up, chill, hold up, man!

S: Yo! Yo, man! Yo, hold up, chill, listen, listen! Yo, man–

P: One at a time! One at a time!

S: Fam! Fam! Fam! Fam! A man named Eduardo's coming for your head, G! Man's been talking CRAZY, dawg!

(Unintelligible ranting)

P: Yo, hold on! Hold on! Where's the strap? Where's the strap?

S: Man said Phone-E doesn't hold burners, man said Phone-E can't spit none of that, G!

P: What?!?

(Unintelligible ranting)

P: Hold on, I have to what? I have to– I have to grab what?

S: Hold the burner, dawg! What do you mean, what?

P: O– uh…

S: Take this!

P: You hold it! Put it in your pocket!

S: What do you mean? My hands are full, G!

U: Let's off this, man!

P: It makes me itch!

S: Yo, take the– take the burner!

(Unintelligible arguing)

P: Just hold– it, it gives me eczema, dawg!

S: Are you– what do you mean?!

U: Yo, you guys are jokers…

S: Just HOLD the burner, dawg!

(Unintelligible arguing)

S: Alright, I'll put it in my backpack, I'll put it in my– let's roll out, G!

P: Okay, man, what the fuck are these wastemans talkin' 'bout? Phone-EG is really out here, Phone-E– yo, where the FUCK's my bucket hat, huh?!? Right here! Yo! Le– yo, let's fucking ride ou– yo, these fucking wa– (sucks teeth)

S: Yo, let's go, dawg!

(Crying in the background)

P: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!