[Intro: Big Squidward and Phone-EG]
— (Coughs) Yo, hit this motherfucker, P
— No, nah, man, I can’t fuck with that
— Aww, man, I been dealin' wit' you 3 motherfuckin' months, you ain't toke the blaze in front of me yet, dawg!
— So, what are you sayin'?
— I think you're bwoy, B!
— Bwoy?! Man, I'm not no motherfuckin' bwoy!
— Well, toke this fuckin' blunt then, dawg!
— (Inhales) Holy fuck! I think I did it!
— Yo, yo, Phone-E, you're floatin', dawg
— Squid grab me, dawgs, I'm floatin', fam!
— Nah, nah, fuck that, fam, I'm comin' wit' you, hold on
— (Inhales) Yo (Holy fuuuuck!)
— Yo Squid, when did you dye your hair turquoise, dawg?
— Yo, yo, you're chopped! … Phone-E?
— Yes?
— When did you grow tentacles, fam?
— You're chopped! … Yo Squid, Squid, I love you Squid, you'll always be my little Squiddy
— You already dun know fam, holy I'm blem … Phone-E?
— Yeah?
— Can you spit something for me, dawg?
— Fam, I can't
— What do you mean you can't spit, dawg? You know you can
— I, I forgot to change my briefs
— What does that have to do with anything, fam?
— O-o-o-oh yeah, I'm frass … ok Squiddy, I guess if you want something, I got something for you
— Thank you
— Here goes nothing
It's Phone-E
[Verse 1: Phone-EG]
Phone-E blow smoke like a big choo-choo train
Blow so much smoke, it looks like it wants to rain
Hit the marijuana, put illusions in my brain
Talking to my water bottle, think I'm insane
If beef pops off, I'll probably catch a slug
See my worst enemy and give the man a hug
Let's go ride a dinosaur
Meet Aladdin and Jafar
Squid, holy fuck, you look like a granola bar
[Interlude: Big Squidward and Phone-EG]
— Yo! Yo, that was a good ting Squidward, good job Squid
— You're chopped! You're Squid and I'm Phone-E!
— (Laughs) I'm frass!
— You really think I did good? I kinda zoned out, I don't know what I said
— Yeah, truss meee
— Why don't you give it a try, Squiddy boy? You're pretty good
— Well- well, I don't know how … I'm- I'm a zookeeper so I fix toilets and sinks, you know what I'm sayin'?
— Ah-lie
(Both laugh)
— Go ahead! You can do it
— Well, if you insist Big Phone-E
Squiddy
[Verse 2: Big Squidward]
Squid inhale smoke like a fuckin' firefighter
Hit a big spliff, shake hands with Buzz Lightyear
Squid's weakest piff is your man's worst nightmare
Your kush is orange, mine's mature, white hair
On the road they like to call me Squiddy 360
I sample up my kush and have you doing 360s
Lay you down like Ricky
Have you dancin' like the '60s
2 for 1 [?] only cost me $50
[Interlude: Phone-EG, Big Squidward and Biggz]
P: Woaaaahhh! That was remarkable, fam!
S: Thank you, Phone-EG
P: Yo, yo, Biggz! BIGGZ!!!
B: Uhhh, wagwan? Wagwan? Wagwan?
P: Yo, take the blunt on the floor and hit that
S: Yeah, dawg, come float with the mandem, Biggz
B: (Inhales deeply and coughs) Holy fuck, dawg!
P: You're up here now, you might as well spit something for us Biggz
(S: Yeah, come on! Give it your all)
P: Go on, give it a try, don't be shy
[Verse 3: Biggz]
Toke the bleezy up, I become a sea tortoise
Or a flying squirrel, flapping wings through the forest
Biggz packs the blunt, load it up like µTorrent
Put the green to my mouth like a big brontosaurus
Biggz hit the weed with 3,000 horsepower
Blunt in the tank, get to Mars in an hour
My spliff, it's the tallest, make [?]
Taurus in Toronto, check out the spliff tower
[Outro: Phone-EG]
(Exhales) Ok, that was fun!
But let's get back into this gangster shit…