(Ladies and Gentlemen! Garfield and friends!)

[Verse 1]

When I wake up, I grab the paper off the mat

Open up, I only see that awful cat

And in the back, the funnies only bring me horrors

Too bad, that every day, there's only more

And at the store, he's on balloons and cards and toys

A sick trick for any cautious girl or boy

And then at bed, I couldn't slumber if I tried

In my head, that horrid orange cat resides

[Chorus]

Because he haunts me every day

He only causes pain

His face won't leave my head

I'd honestly rather be dead

Lasagna eating freak

That I just can't unsee

He's a dog kicker and he's overweight

If I can't stop him now, it'll be too late

[Verse 2]

It just got worse, he only lingers in my mind

I can't go, who knows if he's waiting outside

There's just no chance I'll ever conquer his deception

Again

I only need my self-protection

The color orange only gives me panic attacks

And Bill Murray only makes my fears come back

Oh, Jim Davis, why would you make something like that

I can't take it, there's no hiding from Garfield's wrath

[Chorus]

Because he haunts me every day

He only causes pain

His face won't leave my head

I'd honestly rather be dead

Lasagna eating freak

That I just can't unsee

He's a dog kicker and he's overweight

If I can't stop him now, it'll be too late

(Oooh)

(Oooh)

(Oooh)

(Oooh)

[Verse 3]

It's time to stop it all

And end this crazy ball

There's no way he'll know

I'll conquer my fears and away he'll go

Say his name in the mirror

And then he will appear

Stab the blade of Mondays right into his heart

And just like that, he'll fall apart

(If someone wants you to change the channel, kids, just say no.)