It's hard for me. I still see the distance in between

The shape of the trees, the reds and the greens

I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach

Some late nights / early mornings a feeling of loss

But for what we never had

Now that I'm older, does part of me reflect?

Do relics of the past noose around my neck?

Now that I'm older, does part of me reflect?

Are the things that I've become, the things I would expect?

What I would expect?

Winter came and went;

I was in no place to forget

Winter came and went;

And the ones I loved were upon my back again

Some days I think back to how things used to be

When I thought I found the oath I always longed to take

But things have changed between us all

Not just you and me

So this is me moving on, not running away

So I made a choice for myself

I buried the ends, and sold myself out

Adrenaline reverberated around my body

In the bathtub, till the water went cold around me

I had an aching inside and a ring in my ears

As I filled out the forms, the forms filled out my years

Charcoal greys and blacks and in my head aloud

Were the words I was always too afraid to write down;

"I'm not breaking down because I want out

I'm just taking ground for another drought

Holding close the ones who were just out of luck

We're all going down, we're all completely fucked."

"I'm not breaking down because I want out

I'm just taking ground for another drought

Holding close the ones who were just out of luck

We're all going down, we're all completely fucked."