[Verse 1]

You old middle of the road ass

Don't know the code ass

Mid ranged, flat EQ, not even low pass filtered

You probably like gray better than silver

Closet full of short sleeve dress shirts for work

Like Dagwood or Dilbert

If you were a nut, you'd be a filbert

About as edgy as Bob the Builder

Yeah, your whole style's all butter knife

You make Jack McBrayer look like a guttersnipe

You probably get ten types of offended at adult content

In just a friend and do what you like

Do some helium

Sound of your voice is extra extra medium

Anything to dress up your mediocre proscenium

Get zesty

I bet you go to karaoke nights and do Kiss medleys

And that's only a bad thing cause you're the one doing it

Your lameness contagious, pick a thing and you'll ruin it

Human silverfish

The last thing you created was a burnt mixed CD of Wilson Philips hits

Low white dull light but wilted filament

If you're a baby then god damn it, take a baby step

Good grief, you probably sleep in a safety net

Head full of gray berets

Dream about winning but in life won't place a bet


[Hook]

So middling, middling, middling

No riddling

Blink all night and won't miss a thing

Middling, don't say no, go for anything

Try to find a way to go in between, in between


[Verse 2]

Your whole style's all vanilla bean

Let's see you try to fence sit under a guillotine

I'd rather watch nature films where gorillas bring

Than see footage of your life's most chilling scene

Okay, that was kinda mean

I just want you to be less like a limabean

If I could I'd use magic or a time machine

To rewind the thing

You wouldn't want me to, not Inspector Space Time

Just a normal constable

Like watching Keystone Cops move at normal speed

Mistaking all mediocrity as normalcy

You sit at home and watch Boogie Nights without the fist fights or the porno scenes

You eat plain frozen yogurt

And won't know what to do when reality shows are over

I'd like to stick your head in an empty can of Folgers

I got with your member card from your local grocer


[Hook]