Here at Omega Mart, every customer's special

But not all are equal, some are exceptional

The customer's always right

But sometimes you'll find

Exceptional ones who seem out of their minds

Exceptional customers find what they're right for

But they don't know quite where they are

But they're in the right store

They know they want something, but what?

They're not quite sure

Give them advice

Get them to buy more!

Exceptional customers may feel confused

Offer them constant attention and juice

And answer their questions with promptness and zest

They don't know which product they want, tell them yes

They may have concerns

"I can't find my teeth!"

Or metaphysical questions

"Who am I? Am I me?"

When they're lost help them look for who they want to be

But not in the mirror, they won't like what they see

Trying to find some butter lettuce?

Don't be bothered by it

Let us help you find it

As you slice the head of lettuce

That your head is in the salad

Have some breadsticks

Have some samples

Have some extras

Let us help you with your vegetables

We're specialists, you're helpless

Uh oh, she's lost the distinction again

Between where her cart ends and her own arm begins

She's alarmed to find then that her cart arm extends

Down the whole aisle 10

Smile, be a friend

Here's a lost shopper who's probably not sure

Of whether the soft serve he's eating is God or

A demonic imposter, he's screaming but not words

Don't let him feel bothered

Offer him water

A trip to the grocery can be so engrossing

Inspecting the produce, contemplating the growth of things

The aura of an orange emanating and glowing brings

Engorge with its juices and glistening gorgeous leaves

When loitering courselessly, escort them resourcefully

Cordial yet forceful, inform them there's more to see

Cornish hens, corn and peas

Help them feel more at ease

Melting in formless beings

Try it with more cheese!

Attention all shoppers

Please remain calm if you think you're seeing monsters

With monstrous savings on all our new offers

You'll go insane for our awesome new products

Some can't stop laughing

Some can't stop crying

Some lose track of how much they're buying

And then some can't decide what they want and what they don't

Put them both in the cart and assume they want both