[Verse 1]

No one wants to hear about your 97th tear

So dry your eyes or let it go uncried, my dear

I am all out of love to mouth into your ear

And not above letting a love song disappear

Before it's written

[Verse 2]

And no one wants a tune about the 100th luftballoon

That was seen shooting from the window of your room

To be a spot against the sky's colossal gloom

And land, deflated, in some neighbor state that's strewn

With 99 others

[Chorus 1]

8 Chinese brothers

Well, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide

And sitting higher than the others

Swinging his arms

[Verse 3]

You would probably die before you shot up 9 miles high

Your eyes dilated as light played upon the sight

Of TVC 16 as it sings you goodnight

Relaxed as hell and locked up in cell 45

Well, I hope you're feeling better

[Chorus 2]

The 51st way to leave your lover

Admittedly, it doesn't seem to be

As gentle or as clean as all the others

Leaving its scars

All in the after-hours of some Greenpoint bar

[Verse 4]

I told you I can't listen, baby, about the 4th time you were a lady

And how your forthrightness betrayed a secret shyness

Stripped away by days of being hailed as "Your Highness"

And what's new, pussycat, is you were once a lioness

They cut your claws out

[Verse 5]

Kitten, not everyone's keen on lighting candle 17

The party's done, the cake's all gone, the plates are clean

The chauffeur's leering from the cheerless mezzanine

And in just one year, the straight world can pay to see

What they have been missing

[Chorus 3]

But you were caught kissing 8 Chinese brothers

Well, there's a reason why the last is smiling wide

And sitting higher than the others

Stinking with charm

[Outro]

And he says, "Let's get lost, let them send out alarms"

He says, "Let's get crossed out and come to harm"

"Let's make the world's stupidest stand and truly mean it

Let's hit the limit of loss over lover's arms

No, let's exceed it"