[Verse 1]

When I was younger, I had my wishes

I dreamed of being something else each day

Wished I was a superhero or an astronaut in space

My life continued, and as it happened

I watched it from the sidelines and

I looked back and realized how I wish it had began

[Chorus]

If I was a lesbian my life would be great

I would be a lot less shy when asking girls out on dates

And I’d be the cutest girl, as I’m sure you’re aware

And I’d be the only girl I know to wear boys’ underwear

And if I was a lesbian I'd buy pretty clothes

And I’d be all cool and edgy and I’d pierce my nose

And I’d have a lot of fun comparing boobs with my friends

And I wouldn’t be afraid of getting pregnant again

[Verse 2]

As I grew older and went to high school

I was your average teenage boy

Wearing makeup and skinny jeans was the stuff that I enjoyed

And then it hit me one fateful weekend

I tried to lez out with my friends one day

And then I knew that my path in life was not completely straight

[Instrumental Bridge]

[Chorus]

If I was a lesbian my life would be grand (If i was a lesbian)

Cause I’d go around in public holding my girlfriend’s hand (If i was a lesbian)

And I’d read a bunch of anime and vampire books (If i was a lesbian)

And I could finally buy pantyhose and not get crazy looks

And if I was a lesbian I’d dance in my bra (If i was a lesbian)

And I’d make out with another girl in front of grandma (If i was a lesbian)

And I’d finally ask girls out without getting turned away (If i was a lesbian)

Cause it seems like every girl I like always turns out gay

[Outro]

(If i was a lesbian)

(If i was a lesbian)

(If i was a lesbian)