ruiner - Intellectual

n,n. has mentioned several people from his past in previous songs. One such person that didn’t have a good bond with n,n. would be the girl he loved, who is mentioned in many songs on Reaper, such as “REM.”.

n,n. and his ex-lover used to have a destructive relationship possibly caused by drugs, which is mentioned in “Clarity in Kerosene” on the same album. He didn’t handle the situation to the best of his abilities, so their relationship may have devolved up until the point that he either he assumes that she has these types of thoughts about him (possibly caused by his anxiety), or that she explicitly said it to him.

Since his self-released debut album “the nothing,nowhere. lp” on June 30, 2015, n,n has been signed to multiple record labels.

From Synergy Records for his 2015 and 2016 EP releases, DCD2 Records in 2017 and now under Fueled By Ramen in 2018, n,n has always had “radio execs tryna say what’s best”.

Everyone feels sad sometimes, but what nothing,nowhere. is explaining here is a mental illness. Depression, anxiety, or something similar is definitely portrayed here, with well known symptoms including:

Lack of motivation to do anything
Feeling emotionally drained for what seems like no reason
Cutting yourself off from friends and family.

The music business attracts a lot of artists who aspire to reach fame and fortune. The issue is that when money becomes the main driving force, it’s easy to lose the heart and soul, and because of that, whatever emotion that the music conveys may be superficial at best. One of n,n.’s main pulls as a musician is his focus on writing songs for the message they send and for the love of music, rather than the money that may come with it.

In his May 2018 interview with Masked Gorilla, n,n. talks about the external and internal pressure he experienced during the process of creating his studio debut album, “REAPER”.

Edgar Allan Poe was a famous American writer, who was creating at the time of romanticism. His work seems to be an inspiration to nothing,nowhere, as seen in the tropes used and titles (see Nevermore from the album Reaper).

Edgar Allan Poe — Wikipedia

Edgar Allan Poe (; born Edgar Poe; January 19, 1809 - October 7, 1849) was an American writer, editor, and literary critic. Poe is best known for his poetry and short stories, particularly his tales of mystery and the macabre.

Joe (the lead singer) doesn’t know what he’s going after when writing these songs but sometimes his thoughts get to him and simply jotting them down could help him, just as many others do

A lobotomy is:

a surgical operation involving incision into the prefrontal lobe of the brain, formerly used to treat mental illness.

They were widely known for being unsuccessful, hence “fucking with your head”.

n,n.’s mental picture of the situation describes this person at their lowest point in which they are crying on the bathroom floor, possibly referencing the usual nausea related when it comes to heartbreak or betrayal.

Relationships are made, and usually you consider your significant other to be your best friend.

Through the depression, n,n.’s take is that he lost his mind, and then lost his significant other.

Sometimes relationships run into the ground where you honestly look back and say that things definitely aren’t how they used to be.

Once the honeymoon phase is over, you usually look back on the times where every day was spent together and all the lovey-dovey expressions and actions were done, and you wonder where the times went.

n,n.’s lyrics has mostly revolved around mental health issues, anxiety and depression being the most common topics. Here he’s trying to connect with his listeners, telling them he knows why they’re listening to his music, because he knows they’re listening to is for the very same reason he wrote it; a way to vent out the sadness, hopelessness, despair and anger that the brain can cause.

Depression can lead to sleeplessness, which messes up the whole inner biological clock and sleep cycle. This could mean that you fall asleep in late hours and wake up by dusk when it’s already getting darker again. It’s a heavy cycle from which it is hard to escape, due to the distorted emotions of the affected one.

“Word is bond” is a phrase that has been familiarized by hip hop as a genre. Wu-Tang Clan used it in their song “Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing ta Fuck Wit.”:

Peace to all the Gods and the Earths, word is bond

This line by n,n. may be a reference to this song or others, including “Hail Mary” by 2Pac, “No Diggity” by Blackstreet, or “Gimme the Loot” by The Notorious B.I.G.

n,n.’s sole concern in this line is feeling that he made a mistake. When it comes to break ups, especially less than favorable ones (cheating, etc.), it is definitely hard to explain to the one you loves family about why you aren’t together anymore. And the thought of what her mom is gonna say about the situation makes anyone nervous and upset.