[Verse 1]
Look here see, Pretty Mike shanked Two-Face Al over some gal
Found the body dead in the isles
Death by strangulation, microphone cord, a dirty broad
Guess they'll never "play it again, Sam"
Damn, that was my jam, now she's on the lam
She made it out with 200 grand, what a scam
While these two compete on who's the star of the show
Golden legs there makes off with the dough
I read the paper there, with Joe The Butcher
He said, "One glance is all it took ya, she's a real looker"
They say her old man's a bootlegger
Transporting in any weather and at this rate we'll never get her
"Fellas, think it's time to call it a night
All this talk of this mystery dame's getting me tight"
Thought I saw her in my eyesight, right
Hate to spoil the party, "What are you guys havin', the same?
Waiter – another round for the gang"
It's strange how I always felt outta place
Joe The Butcher's my ace, but in comes Freckle Face
So I said "See you later"
'Fore I hurt him and his two ugly thumb-breakers
He met them in Louisiana, wrestling gators
An idiot can tell they're involved with the caper
So I pulled the revolver on my waist up
Between the patrol car and the gray truck
Behind the street lamp was a silhouette
White gloves and a real long cigarette
What do you know?
All this time, she's got me in her scope
She spoke, says, "The devil got you guys by the throat
Your conspiracy theories won't work without evidence
That's the reason why Eric B. is not president"
[Break]
Well, what do ya say?
Ya see?
Ya see?
Ya see?
[Verse 2]
Look here, see, "I Know You Got Soul" you're trying to hide it
How did you "Kill A Man," out in Cypress
One Eyed Charlie, he only hangs with the "Criminal Minded"
Says you guys did it "Doggystyle" – is he lyin'?
She says, "'Walk This Way,', I'll tell you a 'Children's Story'."
We hit the bodega, got her a few 40's
We jumped in my ride, we drove and she cried
Twisted off the cap there and opened her mouth wide
Swallowed it, whole bottle's half empty
Drinks like a fish, now she's past tipsy
The truth came out, as we got to her Suave House
Chopped and screwed her mouth and sat me on the couch
I said, "It's gettin late, come on, give it to me straight –
Who's ya sponsor, lady?" She says, "Bill Gates"
"What are ya – born '77 or '78?"
She says, "Nah, it goes way to an earlier date –
Slave times," claims the slaves said rhymes
But she fell in love with some fella named Clive
Who? "Clive Campbell from Sedgwick Ave–
The Bronx", now she shows me the cash
I said "Who's Clive? Don't play with me, skirt!"
She said "Clive Campbell, he's Kool Herc!"
[Break]
Ah-ha!
Ah-ha!
[Outro]
Listen up, sweetheart, now we gettin' somewhere
As she's talking, she starts vanishing in thin air
But before she drops the money bag on the floor and died
She said if you really love me, I'll come back alive
[Segue]
Hip hop is so fuckin' dead