[Intro]

…hey

I was just calling because you never set up your appointment

C’mon, aren’t you taking this seriously? I thought you wanted help

…Call me when you get this. I’m worried about you

[Verse 1]

I swear i’m giving it my best

It’s not like i’m pretending just to garner something less

I know

I said that i can’t take it anymore

But understand that there’s some things that scare me more than what goes on behind this door

And i confess

But please don’t look at me like I’m anything less

I gave you whats inside

So that you’d trеat it nice

And help me takе this step because I find inside

[Pre-Chorus]

And i’m scared of going through

Cause i’m not quite sure of anything, anymore

I don’t know what’s outside that door or what’s in store

What if everything goes wrong?

What if I get hooked?

What if I’m messed up?

What if i’m prescribed a drug and then i turn into a junkie and forget all that i had what if and what if i and what if

[Chorus]

My heart beats fast and i can’t even breathe

And i can’t check in cause i’m stuck in place

These lies that bind like a vine on a tree

And these thoughts that i keep entertaining

“hey are you alright”

I answer with a half-baked truth and the stuffings of a lie

I’m fine

A little on the tired side, i sigh

What a bad excuse that we both dislike

[Verse 2]

I can’t go back

I told you just enough for you to understand

And now

I’m standing at the edge

The fall is super steep, but you promise

Telling me to check in

My vision blurs again

Can you please understand

I can’t withstand the thought of letting someone in again

This feeling tears apart

The strings inside my heart

I feel a bile in my stomach threatening to barf

The squeaking of a nervous rocking echoes in the room

I feel the stares of here and there converging where my heart would boom

Regret will fill my cells and tuck me in a blanket full of doom

But now my fate is sealed in blank and blue

I look at you and wonder

Is it alright

I wonder if my problems maybe weren’t as bad as i assumed

I wanted to escape this room

I hated every second that you pushed my through

[Final Chorus]

My heart beats fast and i can’t even breathe

And i can’t check in cause i’m stuck in place

These lies that bind like a vine on a tree

And these thoughts i keep entertaining

“hey are you alright”

I can’t even respond with a half-truth

Staking on a lie

And the first steps hardest, i know

But how’m i gonna take a step if i’m not even through the door

I wanna be loved

I wanna cry so loudly

Louder than i ever have before

I’m scared of all the words the world will have to say

What if i expose my heart and then the world will turn away

I wanna tell the truth

But all the words get caught in the wires

Living in my throat

I sign the deal in ink that’s dripping down

With a trembling line i checked in a shaky sound