When I was just a little boy, I'd sit around all day

Thinking about the future to pass the time of day

With my friends sittin' laughin', they would mainly laugh at me

Because I was always different, it was all so plain to see

Didn't want to be a fireman, a cowboy, or a cop

I was always different like a sore thumb I stuck out

Because even in my dreams I won't pretend to age

I knew a life of normalcy was nothing but a cage

When I grow up, I don't want to be like you!

To be a barbarian would be a lot of fun

Sit around, eat raw meat in the mid day sun

I'd dance around the fire, like a madman I would yell

I'd smell a bit I'd fart a lot, I'd cut class and I'd belch

I'd sack the Roman Empire and do with a grin

I'd set the cities all ablaze...do it on a whim

And people would shriek as I was coming into town

Because I'd bring my minotaur to help me fry it down

When I grow up, I want something fun to do

I don't know much, but this much I know is true..

When life is short, I don't want to be like you!

When I grow up I think I want to be white trash

Living in a trailer park and sitting on my ass

I'd beat my wife and kids, my kids are passed out in the lawn

I'd steal my brewskies from my mom and often kick my dog

I'd go to work an hour later, bitch about my boss

I'd tell sexist jokes to all my friends to get my weight across

And every friday night I think I'd bowl a round or two

Because standing watching monster trucks is just the thing to do!!