[Verse 1: Bill Shakes & Lee Scott]

Since a young age, we've been walking off to the corner shop

Enter at half three and not leave ’til four o'clock

They never caught us once

It's my duty to make space on the shelf when it seems they’re overstocked

With a street team of thieving toddlers

Keeping watch as I'm blagging Wotsits and penny sweets in boxes

Almost got caught for shit we never even wanted

Leaving shops with refunds on half eaten chocolates

There's no room in my heaving pockets

So I'm dropping all the cheapest products

And the shit I like least to make room for these tubs of ice creams and Rockets

I rob for me to keep, it's never seen as profit

I don't want it if it's not for free

I get clocked, drop the sweets, then convince them that it wasn't me

Acting like I’m not a thief

Tell them honesty’s the best policy and walk away with an apology

On a robbing spree for the comedy factor

Calmly chomping the last of my Taz, dropping the wrapper

Knowing full well I'm being watched by the camera

I took it the wrong way when I heard cost doesn’t matter

My Mum lost me in Asda knocking every drink out the fridge

Just to rob the coldest bottle of Fanta

Always got home in time for Bodger and Badger

Snuck down on Christmas Eve with plans of robbing off Santa

Spending hours looting

Wham bars, jawbreakers, grab Mars, sour Chewits all flavours

Aniseed balls, Quavers, walk out then boot it

Other kids ask me how I do it

Faking I died, choking on a cola cube I stole from you

And rob the rest as you saving my life

I never told the truth, robbing toys from the nursery

Paying the class grass off with stolen Opal Fruits

Two of a chosen few

Only kids able of robbing a bowl of food from the tigers in the local zoo

Class straight bandit at most you broke the rules

Knicked so much equipment they had to close the school

Never speak when spoken to

But hyperactive when swiping packets of Pogs and Dweebs

I have the shop assistant on her knees grovelling, please

Firing sixty rounds a second with robbed Dolly Beads

No modesty, proper thieves honour me

Unaware it was I that was robbing their property

Sheds unlocked with ease and I never robbed the keys

Snub expensive shit and do one on their toddlers jeep

Robbing whilst employees look

Fuck soap you couldn't clean my potty mouth with a whole bottle of Toilet Duck

Watching adverts of Toys'R'Us

Magnum Force, G.I. Joe, the shit that made an infant boy a crook

Watching Visionaries

Sat in me mates house and couldn’t wait 'til I was strong enough to nick the tele

So I left munch and crisps and jellies

Buzzin' off grippin' these Ninja Turtles plus a quid in pennies

Robbing lads Premier stickers and swapping the wanted shinies for Chomps and wrestling figures

Hated Revels and Snickers

Breaking glass with dotty hammers whenever there's Easter eggs in the windows

My childhood taught me included that taxing a fizzy jerk, Double Dips and Nerdz and Highland Toffees

Lads sit by and watch me, jealous

As the girls they'd fight over

Who'd get the time to swipe 'em lollies

And we're not buying nothing

Getting married to the bride I stole from you

Still walkin' down the aisle robbin

I'd exit sweet shops with the entire contents of an empty shelf under my LFC top