[Intro]

I've heard about you pesky little bastards

Get the fuck out me shop now

(What? Do one nobhead!)

[Verse: Mr Wrong & Bill Shakes]

Problem child, fake a cough and scoff a Locket

Robbing from the shops with a hundred Monsters in my pocket

Bonbons and Tizer, strawberry laces on my trainers

Security guides, none the wiser

It's like tapping feet

They never clocked the cider, I got inside this magazine like I can read

Master thief, skip class to teach kids how to nick bags of sweets and sell them off for half the fee

Littlе horror, suck the aniseed balls, Mr Soft bop, taxing Trebors

Clean sweep sweet shop floors

Fuck E's, wе pop white Smarties

Use your Sky dish to tie tarsies

Empty shelves, my hobby is robbing Viz and re-enacting the Spoilt Bastard comic strip

Swiping bin fulls of Minstrels and Toffee Crisps

Gobby, mocking kids cause his Twix is not to split

Commodore 64 copy disk, fuck an honest quid

Mr. Little Big Stuff puffing chocolate cigs

My problem is, you bought them Nerds

I take Willy Wonka for all he's worth

To tour the Earth on a sweet robbing spree is my only aim in life

Bad kid never take advice

Blag a limp with a Meter Sherbet as a splint

Assistants give me shit for free out of sympathy

No manners, what lad I don't say pardon

I raid Martins with cap guns and bomb bags

Not one thanks, shout pigs at bizzies

I fill my jacket with Skittle packets and Fizzy Lizzies

Ripping ciggies, front flip over counter

Hyperactive off lines of Flying Saucer powder

Other kids get slapped when they play with me

Local sweet shotter, supply class A to C

School's out, gonna sing

I'll even knock your sweet tooth out and rock it on a chain

Have Happy Shoppers crying mental scars

Shocked by the presence of my giant Refresher bar cosh

Enter shops with the intention of exiting with Jelly Tots and Cherry Drops at any cost

Keep my sugar levels high without a penny loss

Sell your stock, pocket money never got spent at once

Childs Play Two, revenge of the cretin is at last here, outta beer, yelling at the cashier

If I was underage, could I have tucked that ace up my hoodie right in front of your ugly face?

Stupid, a nuisance

Following the shoe prints will get you nowhere

Covert operations for chocolate raisins

Always on the lookout for new shops to break in

I ain't down with coffee flavours

Stoned happily it's so sad to see

Fuck a low calorie, I'm throwing up a whole Galaxy

If you've got a glucose product, hand it over

Responsible for the extinction of Panda Cola

Space Raiders, out of date Quavers

In Mini fucking Eggs we trust, on a Double Decker buzz

People are often surprised, about how I can lift a shop with my size

I'm one of a kind

When I'm bored I plan to tax stores just to pass time

Damned swines, Jack Norms last dime

Plastic Halloween masks crime

Sticky fingerprints tapping on this biscuit tin stash

Boosting two for one, moving on to the Rubicon

Only quiet when the Transformers movies on

Pedal Jolly Ranchers 'n' anything with citric acid in

E numbers on the packaging

[Outro]

Yeah, you fucking bastards, you best get out of here

I'm gonna call the bizzies in a minute

I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get yous fucking clocked

Yous are done? You cunts, you never come back in your fucking barred

Fuck off, I'll swing for you's next time

(I'm gonna batter ya, ya dickhead)

Three bags of nails please, Mr. Bacon

No, no, I don't have any nails. How about a nice pork chop?

Oh, and the nails, eh?

I never have any nails. Mr. Wrong, this is a butcher's shop