[prod. by leroy anderson]

[intro: mr. master]

Tonight, the role of mr. master

Will be played by... you

[verse: mr. master]

Bolt off the block. Say it’s hot when you know it’s not

Slashdot flood ‘em with the rocket noz. Botch

What’s the kicker? I got ditzes doin’ busy work

My listener stays in stitches with no Stitcher

Let’s leave the general ed to the beginners

Hop right in this Robosaurus wreck

Re’d up on my rolodex. Guess

Took his time on me, di’n’t ‘e?

Got a big fat noggin to brick the hooplahin’

Undisputed champ o’ the

Off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-Broadway bracket

Don’t knock ‘til you try it

Oh you tried it? Okay knock it

It’s acquired via prior knowledge

If you lack it, knock it

If you got it, pick my pockеt

It’s your name with some ultra on it

How’s that for a Dow crash? Yip kay yay

One tweet a day keeps Jack Dorsеy... paid!

Enes Kanter how I blaze, or

How I diss Erdogan to his face

I like art pop. I make pop art bouillabaise

She’s standing right behind me, isn’t she?

Please. Take the meat. Leave the mystery

All my livelong life, I had a glimmering

I thought I was hearing things

I... was, and still am!

Oh Kiernan! Your boyfriend needs disappearin’!

Oh hello there! You’re late!

For a very impartial online debate!

Never in all my days as a nerd have

So many songs been so misheard

Annotate an atlas-worth and

Still they want a flatter earth

Fast drawing. They slow as Cal Poly

Xophthal and dropsy. Ashkoshb'nazi

John Snow to Broad Street. Rap forum non conven

Wack? Ooh queen. I been waackin’ since ABDC

Look, I get it. I was a child once

I kept the kid inside, unlike you outer ones

I grew the goatee and grew into the GOAT, see?

You can have fun scrutinizing anything you wish!

Like math, or porn, or this!