[prod. by mr. master]

[intro: mr. master]

Flo Milli shit

Ya got your whole political ideology figured out

But you can't decide on a major, okay

Grand opening, grand closing

Matamoney

If you want somethin’ done right

[verse: mr. master]

Well, fuck my mom and call me Oedipus

You are the perfect exhibit A for eugenicists

Slutever you do, do not stop me if you've heard this one

What's at stake is personhood

And an all-expense-incurred romp through the simulacrum

Omnischievous. Bottom out the bullion vault

To get court seating at the dead horse beating, I’m sick of it

SoundCloud one-downsmanship

Is stealing candy from a barrеl o’ fish

I'd rather drizzle ultra on the Amеrica split

If you give a browser cookies

Lap reserved for Best New Starlet tushy

Boanthropy fast travelin' me to Bowling Green

Rampant ageusia mutes Cassandra's cuisine

Could you rap a little bit slower?

I don't think I understand what you mean

You bet your taut little ass, I'm jazzed

Rookies runnin' time trials with the phantom of the ultra past

Starry-eyed ingenues fawn over

The lone straight man in the intermediate tap class

Let's see what smutty definition I can add to pizzazz

As Bari Weiss resigns from the Times

Sqrd gets your Millenium problem solved

And your prize money declined

Put ten fingers down if you’ve self-actualized

Now take your two open palms

And give a chief executive officer’s face a double high five

Rhythm and flow is not a Netflix show

They are biological psychological optimal zones

Felt exclusively in bones

Similarly, 'brain' and 'brawn' are not diametrically opposed

It’s just no one’s had the chops

To transmog an identity that’s both

Woulda stopped with the jokes

If that were all, folks. Far from it

I haven’t even brought up

The bombs I planted at the Davos summit

I stuck a TikTok dance under a box propped up with a stick

Snagged a screenager, and taught her AP Lit

Scholarly shit

No dollar sign Ss in this spelling of scholarship

Scholasticism’s not just book fairs for kindergarten kids

It’s that nerd from high school

Crafting a school of thought that’s entirely his

And using it to outfuck Johnny Sins

Wait, you're not media literate?

Even a little bit?

No seriously, ditch the schtick

This is not to be made mischief with

I did not Boston Tea Party nootropics in the water main for this

The digital jittering's a symptom of Busdriver idolatry

The rest is just industry standard psychopathy

Hashtag ad. Nobilified.com is the dumbest

Most history-shredding cockstroke I have ever seen

I would never take high art and lethally inject it with me

Ultra doesn’t count

Reactionary flights via seat of my pants airlines

Crosshairs locked on the Kaizo problem of consciousness

With a bonus tooth nail battle with postprandial somnolence

Bone, satellite, monolith

Alliance of the smart adults...

Oh no wait, it says science of the cargo cult

Sorry, my eyesight’s mulch

If she’s the Secretary of the Press

Why isn’t Kayleigh answering my texts?

I just want an off-the-record interview

And sex

Crib death!

If you can’t cha cha real smooth at my world’s worst

You can’t everybody clap your hands at my Pete Best

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt reject

Told me not nearly enough slot machines

And too much Slavoj Žižek

And it's all skater til it's Gator

And you plant your face in the papers

Fakie 180 to backside Epicly Later'd

Sprayed, prayed, and hit paydirt

Graduated from design ethics to rock throwing

Christened by the zeitgeist, the patron saint of not knowing

Whenever I hear new rap, it just makes me want new me

Even newer nerdcore makes you seethe at who you were before

Automatic irreversible universal downgrade

Skip the path; get this cow paved

I took it upon myself to

Shoulder the commotion like a ghetto blaster

As a result, the panacea has surfaced

Sopping with ectoplasm

Inforecastable by the most sophisticated of projection strategum

As if there were any better justification to let me at 'em

Your bitch is a Seventh-day Adventist. I'm baffled

Hired a stack of three Boohbahs

In a trenchcoat as my legal counsel

Crashed Final Cut Pro crushin' an Estonian amateur

No clue about exposure or aperture

Just “slower” and “faster” and moaning and “master.”

Makin’ Csikszentmihalyi proud. Look

The chalice has a siphon in the center

To monitor Frank-Doddular greed

Lehman Brothers Barnum and Bailey

Colostomy insolvency scheme

I listen to Juicy in reverse so it ends with it all as a dream

Chomped chains o' BiC Cristal caps reminiscin'

When the Starbucks was a Kentucky Fried Chicken

Scanning innuendo-less fingerprints. Juvenescence

But even with this rigid rationale backin' each movie reference

No brick'll breaker this Tourette's tic toward stupid questions

I refuse to be welcome

Bang. Less funny haha

More chubby bunny glot stop, did ‘er wrong

Kitty got caught in my cot, we merged

And now I got her in my palm like Donkey Kong

Turn the Bad Place to my own personal Marwencol. Calm

I’m with Sasha Sagan in her father’s basement

Gettin’ cosmically acquainted

Swamped with calumny allegations

Before the product was even placed in

Secretary huffs a fat sigh at the sight of my harlequinade-ness

Wipes the whiteboard, and EXPOs a goose egg under ‘Days Since.’

Friendship ended with Loop Quantum;

Now String Theory is my best friend

Lapped every rapper this side of the humanities

And thought, "Y'know what? STEM."

Carry enough Grant to charm your meemaw out her Depends

The weirdest of UHF's I Love The 2010s misleading men

Holy antifragility! Universal Music Group

Just drafted Larry Nassar to their gymnast team!

All points bulletin on a moves crowd killer

Dementia-stricken old-heads like, “That sounds familiar.”

Yeah, and that Mad Lib blank you fill should wow you bigger

These fifty-sumn songs could’ve easily been

Fifty-sumn bans from Twitter

Thank god for no phones allowed at family dinner

Ugly cry the clown make-up off and whaddya got left?

The loss of pre- and gain of post-me post-Capital Gazette

Flashin’ a press pass is now flagged as a national threat

If bein’ right is wrong, then I don’t wanna be…

Wait, gimme a sec...

Yes, I’m doing chisanbop! What do you expect?!

For me to solve the trolley problem in my head?!?

I’m not Eratosthenes!

I send Sacheen Littlefeather to pick up my Postmates

Too busy losing staring contests with SocialBlade

Enhance performance thanks to Secaucus slo-mo replays

Fine-tooth each frame Zapruder-like

Only to jackpot the 'Ref You Suck’ sweepstakes. Loot for life

Quit hangin' turkey handprints with magnets on the damn fridge!

You’re blockin’ the touchscreen tablet

And overpraising your grandkids

Practicin' Taisuke criticals on corrugated fiberboard

Greater than buryin' Sioux under Pine Ridge gore

Chinese whispers gets a pipe dream fissured

Zaps fine wine into cheap liquor

High beam ticket slap from your

Resident regionally accredited meme stickler

Taps on my axe soundtracks Alan's rambz in Meredith's lats

Jacid azz as a fatter of mact

Your boss has got a feet kink he's hidin'

Barista's got a Lush egg inside her. Me?

I got a backyard hadron collider. Weasel-free

FBI confirmed none Yankee Whiter

Streams never me, less you wanna rehash a Christchurch

Crystal capisce

Keep it a stack, you have gotta be conked

If you're not clockin' this tact

I would say it's like the Wright brothers flight

If it weren't more like the prototypes they scrapped

History CCTV snapped in the act

With its ankles dragging its pants

I thought this was a party. Let's dance!

With a web as wide as the world

You think we'd all be Weinsteins

Rather than pawns in a Queensrÿchean mindcrime

Stretch goal reached of seeing Greenland unfreeze in my lifetime!

Keep this up and all baseball will be inside

That's a headstart feet behind

Get Smart's evil twin got the D'agapayeff cracked

And found an orange peep fielding bribes

Shadowban the BETs;

Mod Chermayeff, Geismar, and Haviv

Save the summer like I save all my skips in The Impossible Quease

Zack Morris clock stop means Dame time twice daily

Airdrop beef bandages at the border to ice ICE babies

Neither pride nor joy of the old guard

Whistle dismissal as I frolic past their homes in the boneyard

And never too shy to get that whistle blown hard

Jaxi to the Marx tribe. Fasten your shoestrings

Brief stay at the Valley of the Doll-eyed Anime Doujining

Shudders. Turns out the best white rapper is Filipinx

The rest dig as much depth as a 3DS

Oh, and that prejudice you possess?

Would be a shame if…

High intensity interval training your bias didn’t change shit

Rail the lil minx who lets that Deal Or No Deal

Twenty-four briefcase click, and left her

Hobblin' bowlegged to her ixnayed prince. Give us a kiss

I would swab the deck with Lin-Manuel Miranda

Have Tech do the devil dance

While I tell his sons there’s no Santa

Polly wanna pollyanna wrought with malapropaganda

Spare the drama. Bomb the stand-up

And to further swoggle up matters

My Harvest Moon walkthrough is in tatters

Beesly holds pictures of

Lamecore indie band shirts

And racehorse pissy pampers

Gale-force winded cloudbursts

Bad my Geoguessr stats that much worse

In terms o' hymen work, TI has got it literally backwards

Fat cut of the black budget funding

An ultraviolent long knive night-light for the shadow government

Buds, barbarians, and bumpkin countrymen

Lend me your BigBlueButtoned lips

This Cinderella foam finger cling so snug, you must convict

Good luck good night kegger

For every spoken word open mic ever

Wanna be Prince Ea now?

Get ate by Prince in his Smart Cool era

Round block waitlist wanged Coursera

Now that’s what I call platform peril

Same ECMO that nabbed Cordero

Endtroducing..... the one man million man marching band

Shut-in dealin' shutouts in these shootouts

With my non-dominant hand

Fraud-way juke-sicals

Give me concave goose pimples

Half-court heave for all the Cuban missiles

Gunky tongues, and stage-bloody toothbrush bristles

Darling, this Arwing has enough spitters

Maybe next multiverse split-up

Just emotional eat to Phoebe Bridgers till the ravages get us

Well, look who's getting argumentative

Aren't you precious? Of all the lawsuits pendin'

You thought to settle this

Bullet hell dodge adeptness pierce defenses

Gen-eng Miracle-Ear infections

Ultra stepped in as the vulgar stepdad of invention

Willkommen. Vanquishment. Credits list

Backpedal never ‘less the Tour De France

Forces Pharcyde references

ROTC in tenth, and since

Stayed standing straight at attention

It’s alive and it’s hangry

Meditate for a Planck length

And tell me you don’t wanna

Fill your fanny pack with rocks

And belly flop in the Yangtze

Day sixteen-thousand eight-hundred thirty-nine

Not outed as Bansky

Monkey Christ! Rosie 'round the ring o' latchkeys

Thrice I been knighted to match each head of this hydra

Band geek theatre kid nerd techie

Virgin Trekkie swirly wedgie Messiah

Sociopaths can't all be bad if I'm one

Life-size Bratz doll tryna Veruca Salt me

This Verrückt vault'll do Julie Schwab-ly

Buffed music to museology

Proof of the ultruminatti

As evolutionarily rooted in the human body

Eureka'd the solution problem. Workin' hardly

Command on charisma got the channel probosky

A la perched on the Panasonic and bingin' the Ashley Darcy

Bootleggers, start your camcorders

It's about to get fartsy

Chateau'd on 140 Bar Street

Where the would-be car thieves

Instead crank call barkeeps

Air quotes "with us or against us"

Is BrainyQuotes "malarkey."

I can simultaneously love your garden and hate your gardening

Irregardless, flagrant one on Harper Hempel

My body’s the Water Temple

Sharpening backed by Barber o’ Seville

Grin dyed jaundice ‘cause inside jobs don’t cover dental

Worth mentioning Jill and Gretel exchanging tips

On how to makeover the devil, solely to satisfy Bechdel

Anecdotally evidential; access iffily granted

Metaphysical challenge aced

By the least dead dysentery patient

In the prairie wagon

Fake understanding and empathy

For the sake of tearin’ her Savage Fenty

Heather likes her venti frappes half-empty

And that’s meant to tempt me? Wench please

I am a grown FPS who don't need no setpiece

Score three thousand ammonium nitrate box tops

And ultra gets to be edgy

Ktsing elbows with those who rent-seek

Fundie-friendly. Double triple in hands kissed

And babies shook across all constituencies

Fordite medal for a lifetime not achieving anything

Kinda talk reserved for walks through halls of both West Wings

Edicts fit for stone etchings

Be be aggressive chants square at the choir

Incendiary pants sported by a hordes O'Learier heffer for hire

The carrot-topped third Meyers

Banana-Green-Crack-fueled aquascaping marathons were

Banned from begetting this caliber o’ wherewithal

Not since Drakengard has a man’s lore spanned so far

Takes no more than a principle cascade shuffle

To pull a Dalio’s card

Silly Rapids district or give

Waze map dotted with slattaclysmic indigences

Pablo Honey, I'm animal homesickness

Wizord wizizard. Wun' no Blizzard. Pwned all the same

Her post got one view

And she bought a number balloon

To usher in fame

Bluejacket's Manual dog-eared every page

Bronx cheer weapons-graded

Results mark naught but sheer edge case

Unweighted

Fashion reins outta french braids

Cavalry entrance

Can you sense the childhood obsession

With Rhythm Heaven Fever?

'Cause I can't

Rainbow chute cherry-tops ejection from Monster Mutt

(Patriotism unverified

Until first mention of monster trucks.)

Bottoms bottomlessly up

Mallowed be the all-seeing ICUP

Dolby sound deafening jams with sham science

How could a 21st sensory pox

Yellow-light this orange a pilot?

Knocks canvases so hustler

Saatchi’d rush to frame the smock

Blitzkrieg botch

Stream glut rots your brain to Mott's

Undo unlocked from a-hundred-and-one percent collection

Of better left disconnected dots

Sidestep the V-chip block bearing neutrality née brutality

For ages K thru 401k vanishing

Popped a Greensboro squat and ass-dialed Caitlin Flanagan

Personality dialysis plug yank

All’s comfy and dry this side of the dunk tank

The exchange rate between decibels in a Mustang engine

And ounces of Mom and Dad’s attention

Must reach Zimbabwean percentages

Velocity finally terminal enough to match my knowledge bowl

She tried to torchlight my blunt and then I swallowed it whole

Character actor, only the one though

Joan from Fun Home now wears hoodies

And brokers subprime home loans

Effective this moment are mandated inner-self explorings

Coinkydincidentally

Feeling like you've figured it all out

Will now be officially boring

I paste Michael Brooks into Citation Machine

With that precise motive

Hell, I'm entertaining wokeness

Gone is the age of faultlessness

And the consequent Janal Bell's-Palsied logic twists

Honesty is now domestic policy

Punishable by cream-sitting whip

Even the blithest Hype House ditz'll commit

Given the proper perverse incentive

And proper pulchritudinous nerd

To have a perverted friendship with

What a slip-up to surmise that intelligence

Could be measured with beveled-edge sticks

I tell a standardized test to standardize this!

Sweet transvestite, I’m cured!

Mein Führer, I can fame whore!

Newman machine charged

And it’s been starvin’ to wire fraud JSTOR

Count o’ straight jokes neck and neck

With social worker caseloads

Natural when Whammy immunity games your game show

Kawashima say alcohol still illegal for my brain

Ralph up your thoughts and I’ll Mussolini your train

Truth fudged, God struck, parried

And fouled that ball lightning with grease stains

Lumbered encumbered for years

Before denouncing all but keyframes

Bold face. Philippa Soo

Imagineerment squares more with

Hairy Who and them Chicago cats

Blind given laser sight so tunnel on the catch

They forgot the keep

Risperdal nightmares skewer sleep

The future Mr. Kimberly Cougar Schmidt

Moonlights at the butterbeer brewery

Lite brites as a blunder year recovery blueprint scheme

Jumper sail feathery. Brick, but contact means two frees

Chimerica runs on phooey

Faucet catastrophe

J-14 Tiger Beat bidding fight night in my answering machine

Competitive double dutch speed

Button mash through cutscenes

Runt the rah-rah. Holly your Ronda

With a holocron o' Baba Ram Dass

Noxious splotch on this dodgy hodgepodge

Ease off the C-stick!

Back in my false memory

Wackness was treated with leeches

If not, bet this chestburster threat’ll

Get him to pledge his allegiance

Really caught nines once overin’

Search party spoiled. This silver fork tongue snake oil’s

Potent enough to foil the eight other potions, stud

Hey Schmachtenberger, my eyes are back here!

Dolphin TAS o' Jack the Ripper’s career

Life raps weird

She's crotch height nursin' diamondback bites

Cobra gulp the key and the kite

Nijinsky tiptoe 'tween S&P's trip lights fantasmic

Dripped in Blingee gif chintz

Lick fingertip tsss ravenous

This prank's tanked, hasn't it?

Set ergonomics to tailbone owwy and we're futurebound

Squint your ears tight enough and

Humiliation stereograms to a superpower

Squint even tighter and

Keith Harings melt into Turing patterns

Toontask sorting sound last in my gag order

Stormy Daniels. Porky's playhouse

Varsity Blues bracket admission. Top ticket

Proportional divinity spotted in nautiluses

Penned me in the naughty list. Plot thickets

Dollar store cognizance

Consciousness bargain bins

Everything must go-pocalypse

The only way out was threw overboard, off the ship

Mission admonished

The theatrical release had far less Greedo guilt on it

Go don your memory joggers

And let's blow this Autobahn frogger contest

That's a one hit crush by a Broadway hunk

Synchro wumbo jets

Laughing mad at how exponentially untapped this potential gets

18th inning stretch interrupted by Muncy center left

Unfulfilled having lived and died Sheck Wes

Reincarnated as intellect itselves

Try the Yarlung Tsangpo cleft between wealths

Subliminality so slick, blink

And you'll dictate deep web diving bells

Hip-hop has found its Jacob Collier

And plowed its ground rules mounds

Aussier to simulate his native Chomskyverse

Skyrocketing myopia, and I’m no anomaly

My blinders are just orange and put on by me

Autodiderodactyl triceratopically

Chicxulubian meteoricity-tinged eschatology

Say Wen- dy Wasserstein

Corn beef turned Carthage siege

Zig stitches for Quizlet snitches

No shortcuts to enrichment

PB’d dash-from-doorbell sprint

Cinched me a seed in the

Electoral collegiate Laff-A-Lympics

No durr, that lav’s pickin’ up

Amplification is for nondiaphragmatic Australopithecunts

Celebrate quotidianniversaries

With a Nawlins Second Line first infantry

Caesar key Morse code blinked surreptitiously

Sailor sworn to secrecy and cursed to crypt-keep

Your bedroom pop album cover art looked better

Plastered with the Shutterstock watermark

Audible sponsored the whole sum o' your parts

Contrast all the more stark juxt

With these scantily clad Gantt charts

Shopping list is the Britannica, a blindfold, and darts

Lucha libre saved face to unbreak my kayfabe

These unicorn dodos destined to go the way o’ Kate Spade

Classic example of a data raid

Wrong warp to Erikson’s eighth stage

As EZScape play-by-plays

And Summoning Salt color commentates

Gory, gory, Al-Fallujah

Tangelo fig his melon eggplant

Groundhog teenhood how recursive I excavate

This Jörmungandr snake run for the skate ranch

Deja vu lift as likely as listening to De La on Apple Music

Stakes is antediluvian

Speak Hello Panda and carry bamboo sticks

Think faster than you’ve ever had to

Drain-circling with the most generous calculation of salvage value

Will too free for surrender to the pessimist glass of half-truth

Will not free enough to stop ogling her neathage tattoo

No thank you

Ultra's cut from Betsy Ross cloth by Devil Dog claws

No surprise with these fast food apple pies

My gut's been churnin'

Certain the fall of that wall in Berlin was the world end

Externalities threaten encampment of internment

An eternity of purposelessness

And the voice of the burgeoning curious

Will never hoist further than murmurings

But the story of the people as person

The destination as journey

And the futile as worthy

Is too robust to just die undeserving

I'm trying

And if you start trying now

It's working

[outro: mr. master]

Funkhouser