(Men)

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?

And isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?

It's swell to have a stiffy

It's divine to own a dick

From the tiniest little tadger

To the world's biggest prick

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas

Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake

Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend

Your Percy, or your cock

You can wrap it up in ribbons

You can slip it in your sock

But don't take it out in public

Or they will stick you in the dock

And you won't come back

(Women)

It's fun to own your own vagina

It's great to have your friendly thatch

Your minge, your twat, your kitty cat

Your nest, your nasty or your snatch

It's great to have a monkey furrow

Your finger pie, your lunchbox or your catch

Your cameltoe, your bearded clam

Your bottom at the front

Your monkey minge

Your muffin

Or your old Sir Berkely Hunt

Your honeypot, your hairy friend

But never call it "cunt"

Or we won't come back

(Men)

Isn't it awfully nice to own a bottom

Isn't it frightfully good to have an arse

It's swell to own a tushy

It's divine to have a scut

From the skinniest little buttocks

To the worlds largest butt

Three cheers for your posterior or anus

Hooray for your lovely sit-upon

[wolf-whistle]

Your fundament, your fanny, your cheeky little dear

Your rump, your hauch, your hams

Your stern, your fanny or your rear

But be careful how you handle it or you'll be caught, I fear

And you won't come back

[Naval Captain (Cleese)]

Company, by the right...dress!

Squad... camp it... HUP!

[All]

My goodness me

I am in a bad temper today, all right

Two, three, damn, damn

Two, three, I'm vexed and ratty

Two, three, and hopping mad, stamp, stamp

Oooh, get her, whoops

I've got your number, ducky

Well, you couldn't afford me, dear, two, three

I'll scratch your eyes out, two, three

Meow! Two, three

Don't come the rear admiral with us, dear

We all know where you've been, you royal naval fairy, two, three

Left, right, left, right

Mother's kissing us tonight

Whoops, don't look now, girls

The captain's just minced in with a dolly little seaman, two, three

Oooooh, two, three

Hello, sailor!