Customer:

Morning

Waitress:

Morning

Customer:

What have you got?

Waitress:

Well, there's egg and bacon

Egg sausage and bacon

Egg and spam

Egg, bacon and spam

Egg, bacon, sausage and spam

Spam, bacon, sausage and spam

Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam

Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam

Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam

(Vikings: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!)

Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce

Served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines

Garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam

Wife:

Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:

Well, the spam, eggs, sausage and spam

That's not got much spam in it

Wife:

I don't want any spam!

Customer:

Why can't she have eggs, bacon, spam and sausage?

Wife:

That's got spam in it!

Customer:

Hasn't got much spam in it as spam, eggs, sausage and spam has it?

(Vikings: Spam! Spam! Spam!...)

Wife:

Could you do me eggs, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam, then?

Waitress:

Iiiiiiiiiiiich!!

Wife:

What do you mean 'Iiiiiiiiiich'? I don't like spam!

(Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress (to Viking choir):

Shut up!

(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress:

Shut Up! Bloody Vikings!

You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam

Wife:

I don't like spam!

Customer:

Shush dear, don't have a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it

I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans

Spam, spam, spam, and spam!

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress:

Shut Up!! Baked beans are off

Customer:

Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress:

You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam

Spam and spam?

Vikings (intervening):

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!

Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam

Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Spam spam spam spam!