(spoken)
The most interesting thing about King Charles the First
Is that he was 5 foot 6 inches tall at the start of his reign
But only 4 foot 8 inches tall at the end of it
Because of...
(sung)
Oliver Cromwell
Lord Protector of England (Puritan)
Born in 1599, Died in 1658 (September)
Was at first (only)
MP for Huntington (but then)
He led the Ironside Calvary at Marston Moor in 1644 and won
Then he founded the new model army
And, praise be, beat the Cavaliers at Naisby
And the King fled up North, like a bat! Toward the Scots...
(spoken)
But under the terms of John Pimm's Solemn league and covenant
The Scots handed King Charles the first over to...
(sung)
Oliver Cromwell
Lord Protector of England (and his warts)
Born in 1599, Died in 1658 (September)
But, alas! (Oy vey!)
Disagreement then broke out (between)
The Presbyterian Parliament and the military who meant
To have an independent bent and so
The second Civil War broke out
And the Roundhead Ranks faced the Cavaliers at Preston Banks!
And the King lost again, silly thing (stupid git)
(spoken)
And Cromwell sent Colonel Pride to purge the House of Commons
Of the Presbyterian Royalists, leaving behind only the rump Parliment
Which appointed a High Court at Westminster Hall
To indict Charles the First for...
(sung)
TYRANNY!!! (Ooohhh!)
(spoken)
Charles was sentenced to death
Even though he refused to accept
That the court had...
(sung)
Jurisdiction
Say goodbye to his head!
Poor King Charles, laid his head, on the block
(spoken)
January 1649
Doooooown came the ax. (gasp)
And in the silence that followed, the only sound that could be heard
Was a solitary giggle, from...
(sung)
Oliver Cromwell
Lord Protector of England (Ole!)
Born in 1599, Died in 1658 (September)
Then he smashed (Ireland)
Set up the commonwealth (and more)
He crushed the Scots at Worcester
And beat the Dutch at sea in 1653, and then
He dissolved the Rump Parliament
And with Lambeth's consent, wrote the Instrument of Government
Under which Oliver was Protector at last!
The End!