(spoken)

The world today seems absolutley crackers

With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high

There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger

It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...

(singing)

I like Chinese

I like Chinese

They only come up to your knees

Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to to please

I like Chinese

I like Chinese

There's nine hundred million of them in the world today

You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say

I like Chinese

I like Chinese

They come from a long way overseas

But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please

I like Chinese food

The waiters never are rude

Think of the many things they've done to impress

There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching and chess

I like Chinese

I like Chinese

I like their tiny little trees

Their zen, their ping-pong, their ying and yang-eze

I like Chinese thought

The wisdom that Confucius taught

If Darwin is anything to shout about

The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt

So, I like Chinese

I like Chinese

They only come up to you knees

Yet they're wise, and they're witty, and they're ready to please

Wo, ai zhong guo ren

Wo, ai zhong guo ren

Wo, ai zhong guo ren

Ni hao ma, Ni hao ma, Ni hao ma zai jian

I like Chinese

I like Chinese

Their food is guaranteed to please

A fourteen, a seven, a nine and li-chese

I like Chinese

I like Chinese

I like their tiny little trees

Their zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-eze

I like Chinese

I like Chinese

(fade out....)