[Intro]

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

[Verse 1]

I run shit in this house, like I was now or never

And with no effort, I bet you I could change my name to Klaus

Or something mildly Flemish

Pick up a Saudi chemist from an Orange County dentist

Ouch

I’m whistling, trading, eating

At poetry readings at AA meetings

I text you pictures of my keister or cervix

Or dead bodies from a Middle Eastern skirmish

Damn, I’m oh so snooty

A bro gropes boobies, has sex with Snow White

At the gym, on pedal bikes

Replenishing electrolytes

You’re honored I dipped my junk in the fondue

Told boring stories, showed my blonde pubes

I’m from the church of Satan’s archdiocese

So I fart fire pits and heart giant tits

(Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know)

[Verse 2]

I’m a prick. All of our inane dialogue

And my day’s minutiae gets micro-blogged

Ew. Plus I smell like Fido the dog

In gray Pumas, I look like Sideshow Bob

Urinate in what the cod-fish swims in

Who was to think, I’m God’s gift to women?

Flirting with about 30 Asian chicks

With herniated discs, eating turkey bacon bits

[Skit]

Busdriver: "Nigga."

Pillow Talk: "Oh hey boo, how you be?"

"Oh, oh. I saw you at the Cannes Film Festival."

"No that wasn’t me. You didn’t see me down there, uh-uh baby."

"Oh, yes."

"You talking about Cannes? You a cunt."

"Tell me about it."

"I saw you getting jiggy at Sundance with no pants on."

"In Holland?"

"Mhm."

"Hmm, do tell. I bought those shoes also, for 30 Euros, at the Champs-Élysées."

"Nigga, please. These shoes? This cummerbund? Oh step, hon. Oh and by the way, the paté?"

"The paté was fabulous."

"Goose liver, nigga!"

"Yes."

Get ‘em

[Verse 3]

Oh, I know, you want my R&B hook

Oh, I know, your brain's been partially cooked

When this breaks this pillow under the gourmet kibble

Your solar plexus be in this trouble hence the dribble, it's what the beat's for

There it is

My friendship's like a health plan

I think on a multi-tiered color telegram

The movie trailer leaked, I hope they get the plumber’s putty

My script writing takes three Welsh understudies

I enjoy the congress of the water buffalo

Hoes stop and hold 'em, rock salt through the double O’s

Y’all niggas, too, think I’m a hot date

With a Prop 8 slashed out on my ballot box

Salad tossed into a chocolate cake

Cause I’m so cute

My hoes they look at me and their water break

And babies pop out with one gold tooth

(Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know

Oh oh no, oh no, oh no, oh I know)

[Hook]

I never never repeat it over and over and over again

I’m one of your pretentious friends, pretentious friends, pretentious friends

I never never repeat it over and over and over again

I’m one of your pretentious friends, pretentious friends, pretentious friends