[Verse 1]

Without that '57 Cadillac

And that mini mansion in a cul-de-sac

That 15-gallon Stetson hat

That you wear all the time

And those real expensive rounds of golf

And this diamond you're still payin' off

Just know as soon as you get caught

They'll all be good as mine

[Chorus]

I called that lawyer up in Dallas

The one who's livin' in that palace

So I know he's good at winnin'

If you think there's somethin' that you're missin'

And you start steppin' out

Only one thing can console me

If you're gonna leave me in San Antone

Remember the alimony

[Verse 2]

If you like livin' at your mama's house

And drinkin' Milwaukee's best on a hand-me-down couch

And you'rе gonna love how this all works out

'Cause it all works out for me

What's minе is mine, and what's yours is mine

So go on, baby, have a real good time

I'll be countin' the dollars, you'll be rollin' the dimes

Freedom don't come free

[Chorus]

'Cause I called that lawyer up in Dallas

The one who's livin' in that palace

So I know he's good at winnin'

If you think there's somethin' that you're missin'

And you start steppin' out

Only one thing can console me

If you're gonna leave me in San Antone

Remember the alimony

[Bridge]

For richer, not for poorer

Well, consider this your spoiler

If you think you can't afford her

Well, you can't afford me too

[Chorus]

So if you start steppin' out

Only one thing can console me

If you're gonna leave me in San Antone

Well, remember the alimony

[Outro]

You ain't gonna have a row to hoe

Go on and do your dog and pony show

If you're gonna be a dumbass

Honey, I hope you remember the alimony