LOTHARIO

I was just minding my business

Here comes Scarlett dolled up in fishnets

Told me she made those Tom Waits covers

So i’d think that she was cool enough to be my lover

Handed me a rubber, i said darling

Join the queue it starts with Laura Marling

Said i ain’t got time, i’m kinda pushed

Running up that road for a date with Kate Bush

Scarlett baby that’s how the cookie crumbles

Rolling in a haystack with Kate Humble

Doesn’t leave me that much time for your mollasses

Bey and Solange take up a lot of mattress

And i know you’re the girl with the pearl

And i got your number when i saw Ghost World

But whaddaya know, i took a detour

Enid thought i was nicer than Seymour

Put my semen in her tip jar

While she wore the mask from the sex store

She had a grande soutien-gorge

I had the lumbar support, well waddaya want?

I’m, getting on so let me get my breath back

[breathing] having a heart attack

But if i was laid in the hospital

You know i’d get laid in the hospital

Those nurses love Minor Planet’s verses

Hold on i got Kirsty

Wark ringing my phone off the hook

With dirty talk, Kirsty read a book

Newsnight review is soon in session

She says her career comes second

Well i had to make her come first

Finally i can get back to my own work

Rachel from Countdown’s doing my homework

Nadia from Pussy Riot’s doing my housework

She says Danny it’s a privilege

Scarlett honey it’s the world we’re living in

I’m tied up with the sex i’m having with

Miranda July she thinks I’m multi-talented

And i’m travelling back and forth to France

To lay down with Lena from Les Revenants

Oh la la

Don’t hate the playa - hate the game

I think i need an admin assistant to keep track

I’ll get one called Grace like ‘The Machine’ Lavine’s got

Seems to work out pretty good... Just gimme the leads!

I’ve got Martha Marcy May and Marlene

Rinko Kikuchi, Meryl Streep

Cybil Shephard, Clemence Poesy

My little black book’s a masterpiece

But all work and no play makes Jack rude

Shelley Duvall once offered me an axe wound

Ho! shit! what can i say

A little close to the bone, but they were

Her words not mine i’m pure driven snow

Vanilla can’t help being poured on a gateaux

I’m aristocracy all in ya ghetto

I’m langoustines bought from Tescos

I’m teaching techno techniques to Bjork

And the leggy leggy blondy from tech support

Laverne loved me live on air

And Raphael’s got me braiding her hair

And Laura Palmer saw me and died

Christina Ricci’s spanning time

Tap dancing with Minor Planet

...we were ballin in a bowlin alley

When I got that text from Johannson

She says did i mention the mansion

That i built you, it’s got a studio

I said i’m making a shit load from Connaught Road

Thankyou very much

And it’s close, to France

Where i lay down with Lena from Les Revenants