[Intro]

Why do white people sorta throw shade at each other?

Um, probably if I had to sum it up in my view

It's 'cause there's only so many spots

What's wrong, Steven?

I'm sensing some weird energy from you

[Verse 1]

Nolan Ryan, first team, what the fuck is happening?

I'm pretty sure that I'm the only All American

Got the whole game screaming, "Hoodie, stop talking"

'Cause underneath, you'd rather be Pippi Longstocking

And it's ironic that you say I got the little league fans

Bro, your shows, I swear they look just like a middle school dance

Just face it, if you can't see that get LASIK

Don't think you're gonna make it

Everything you said is baseless, you're basic

I bet that's why more than one half of your fan base still has braces

'Cause I haven't seen so many 12 year olds come out the woodwork since Sandusky's basement

Man, this Twitter shit is getting absurd

I can't believe you turned my timeline into revenge of the nerds

Steven, you a jackass like Wee Man

Running from all of your demons

Always been the odd kid out, that's tryna get even

But you peaking, homie, it's mine

If you don't know now, then you know it in time

You don't know your facts like coke in the trash

Most of your track was throwaway lines

(What do you get when you guzzle down cum?)

Hoodie Allen's voice when he's singing a song

Oompa loompa doopity-doo

If I saw you in public then what would you do? (nothing)

(Steven, you are being an asshole)

Making rape jokes, that's classy

If you ain't know, just ask me

Not sure if you followed the story at Duke

But the ones who were raped weren't athletes

And you said the only full ride I get is if I hop on your dick

But bro, it's public knowledge, I had a full scholarship

[Interlude]

I mean the amount of irony here is pure comedy

You worked for Google, just google this stuff next time

I mean it's flat out inaccurate

(He's always taken things too seriously)

[Verse 2]

Let me get this straight

Are you tryna say that I'm stupid?

I graduated from Duke

Which is ranked the same as the school that you in

That's UPenn, now that's stupid

(Oh man, Steve, you're better than that)

When you diss track, you better spit facts when you going at me

See I don't understand why you're bringing up age

When bro, you are older than me

And it seems pretty clear that I struck a nerve

Calling me a creep, but you're named yourself after a fucking perv

[Interlude]

I guess you were just never cut out for Google

I mean take ten minutes out of your day

Do a little background check before you pull the trigger

On a named based off Woody Allen

It's just a horse shit read

(It's just skin, Steven)

[Verse 3]

Are you really tryna say that I still live at home?

It's pretty clear that there's a lot you didn't know

And all this really taught me is that you're a fucking amateur

You talking 'bout my mom, but bro, your dad's your fucking manager

'Bout to fly by like a speeding car

You're not a star

You look like you should work at a Genius bar

You're a dork

And honestly, I really liked your song to me

It sucks that you can't sing at all

'Cause you look like you belong on Glee

Don't test me, you fucking around with the wrong athlete

So take that backseat

You belong in Silicon Valley

'Cause clearly you still got a thing for computers

You've tweeted 145,000 times (Loser)

[Interlude]

You know, Steve, you only live once, man

Stop staring at your fucking twitter

Go outside, I know you don't turn up

But why don't you go have a fucking picnic or something?

[Verse 4]

Okay, sports reference, short reference

Maybe you should try another search engine

Google, Bing, Yahoo, Ask Jeeves, it's really your preference

And I really don't get this, you're reckless

You hit me up like two weeks ago

Saying, "Yo, Mike, I fuck with your message"

You're a nitwit and a hypocrite

And I'm sick of it, you got no friends

You could go to the World Cup and still have no one to kick it with

You're ridiculous, and all you do is call your fans

'Cause when you call your friends, all you get is crickets, bitch

[Outro]

This is where the healing begins

(First unheard message)

Hi, Mike, it's your mother

I had the Geek Squad over here earlier

I guess one of the guys who came here, Hoodie, Steven

I don't even know his name

He's upstairs sniffing through your clothes

He's putting your jockstrap on his head

He's acting like a nutcase

This guys seems really obsessive

He found your yearbook

He's rifling through it, I'm a little nervous

He was even asking for baby pictures

I think he wants to see your ding-a-ling