[Verse]

I've watched my roommate get high before class

A lot of my questions get replies of "Don't ask"

I usually wouldn't tell, but darn it, I'm in hell

I've been hung out to dry and my favorite garment's gotten pale

Washing the same clothes, three times a week

My daily schedule is to eat, die, and sleep

I wake up at 4 P.M. to check tweets

I accidentally ignore DM's; text me

What is this "life" you live, and why should I care?

Yesterday, a woman told me I have nice hair

And my ex wanted me to get my hair cut

Validation isn't needed, but, Sam-I-Am, son

I guess I go purple eggs and ham, son

You shouldn't try me in front of a mic stand, son

Whether you control rap at the moment

Or whether you just sold a million records through Samsung

It doesn't matter what your name is, I rock

The Scorpion King, the rap Noob Saibot

Tobias' boon, I light up a room with the way that I flip words

Now lie with me, dude

The music bed is oh, so snug

I'm snatching the covers off of you bozo thugs

Clown-faced rappers; you're the joke

No punchline needed; now, beat it