[HORATIO, sung]

Hello, everybody, my name's Horatio

I will be directing you in this fantastic show

Okay let's see what we've got here to work with tonight

Hey ladies over there, I don't want to see catfights

Before we all get stated there's something you all should know

This girl right here's too ugly, she simply has to go

I only want pretty people dancing on my stage

This will be the best play ever, it will be the rage

Okay now, vocal warmups from the club known as glee

Shut your faces up and repeat after me

Piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy LION

Piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy LION

Good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood

Upon these slitted sheets I sit

Good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood

Upon these slitted sheets I shit!

(spoken)

Alright, oh boy

Who's working the concessions stands, everybody?

No one? Well we've gotta get somebody on that!

How about you? Well, not you, you'd probably eat everything

What about y- oh, god, you'd make people lose their appetite, you're so ugly

Oh, you're kinda cute, well, eh, why don't we forget the concession stands right now, let's go, have you heard of the director's COUCH?

You wanna pay a visit to it?