[Intro]

Hey you!

Down that aisle

Place your hands in your pockets

You better not have what I think you have

Security, grab him

You're going to jail

What are you, sick?

[Verse 1]

Started out of necessity

We were so broke and so hungry

In this world of food for cash

I've got no choice, it's stuff and dash

[Verse 2]

Now we got that dread disease

Bulging pockets full of cheese

The narcs are at the electric door

I drop the goods right on the floor

[Chorus]

I'm a kleptomaniac

We're all kleptomaniacs

Never ever give it back

Hey asshole, what you looking at?

[Verse 3]

Franco's got a special coat

Stole enough juice to fill a moat

And Al's ripping off some smokes

Reshelve those half empty Cokes

[Verse 4]

Cruise the aisles and pocket goods

They'd jail us if they only could

I get the cashier's dirty looks

She knows we're all a bunch of crooks

[Chorus]

I'm a kleptomaniac

We're all kleptomaniacs

Never ever give it back

Steal or starve is where it's at

[Verse 5]

The inventory's short at Hughes

And Cala Foods is paying dues

Safeway's filing Chapter Eleven

I pray we don't gotta rip off heaven

[Verse 6]

We ain't telling you what to do

Just saying what we been through

And we don't want you to come crying to us for bail

When they drag your ass on down to jail

[Chorus]

'Cause we're kleptomaniacs

Kleptomaniacs

Never ever give it back

Hey asshole, what you looking at?

We're all kleptomaniacs