KFP

By Markus

Released on January 31, 2019

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[Intro: Markus & Yung Bookshelf]

Yo

Shout out Jablinski

It's Markus, featuring Yung Bookshelf

Hey, that's me


[Verse 1: Markus]

We open on a hero

So far from a zero

Fur black and white

Fuck shit up like DeNiro

The furious five couldn’t take this guy

So they bow their heads and they give him fives

Po wakes up

And he’s voiced by Jack Black

But that shit was a dream and his life is wack

He works with his dad, but his dad is a goose

I’m worried some day they gon' breaks the news

He too girthy, super unworthy

Dreams of being a warrior as he’s going round serving

Inside the restaurant where he’s working

And a tiny ass bed from which he is lurking

Master Shifu walks around with his constant frown

He gets called by Oogway so he heads on down

There’s a magic peach tree it’s on sacred ground

But the turtle says Tai Lung’s coming back to town

[Interlude: Markus & Yung Bookshelf]

It's absolutely insane with these animals out here

You know what I mean?

Yeah, man, totally, it's just like, you know-

It's crazy, it's crazy

But it's about to go down

'Cause we're going into the second part

You know what I mean?


[Verse 2: Markus]

Its Dragon Warrior time

Shifu has faith in the furious five

But little does he know, here comes Po

Rushing to watch, noodle cart in tow

Fireworks aglow, and shits gone crazy

Then Po becomes the Dragon Warrior baby

Tigress is livid, that position was hers

This fucking Panda seems more like a curse

He’s persistent, constant commitment

Even though only the turtle doesn’t seem indifferent

And his dad just needs him for the noodle shipment

But he memorized the moves and kung fu equipment

There’s a scroll that they’re all fighting over

This shit is lucky but rare, like a four leafed clover

He dropped to a new level, almost sub zero

I mean what happened to those dreams of being a hero

Five ass whoopings but the man can take it

He’s not putting up with the Tiger’s fake shit

Turns out Tai Lung used a feather to escape

The final battle of the film is taking shape

[Interlude: Markus & Yung Bookshelf]

And then this leopard dude shows up

It's absolutely insane, he murders a goose

Are you sure?

Yeah, like his dad, there's a goose messenger

Daaang!

It's crazy, but now it's the last part

You know what I mean?

Oh, oh yeah


[Verse 3: Markus]

So the leopard arrives, fights the furious five

He’s almost defeated but manages to survive

Yo, I’m honestly getting worried about this guy

But Po is the shit I know he won’t die

Turns out there was no secret ingredient

Po finds the power, man he’s finally seeing it

The moves he memorized had me mesmerized

He grabs Tai Lung’s pinky and shoots him in the eyes

Skidoosh, an echoing whoosh

My man the panda finally beat this douche

That’s the end of the story, and Oogway can leave

His friends circle up as they start to grieve

But a new chapter comes, and there’s King Fu Panda 2

Jack Black needs to pay the bills, what else can he do?

[Outro: Markus & Yung Bookshelf]

It's Hollywood, dude, it's expensive

Yeah, you know, gotta pay that rent somehow

It's true, shoutout

Yo what the fuck's Yale doing these days?

Speaking of rent

Disgusting, though, disgusting

Ugh, disgusting, they have a good art gallery, though

That's true, that's true

Good coffee shop, Book Trader Cafe

Shoutout to Book Trader Cafe!

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