[Hook]

She said let's smoke some marijuana

I said oh no don’t really wanna

Cuz I be sorta scared kinda

Cuz last time I smoked

Turned into a muhfucking goat

[Verse 1]

Kids don’t smoke marijuana

'Less you wanna end staring down a

Little bottle full of milk in a petting zoo

Scream "Help!"

But they won't rescue you

Cause goats can’t fucking talk

That well, well I'm telling you

Don’t smoke that shit, don’t snort that shit

Report that shit, I’m forced to shit

Inside a boarded four by four right next to where the horses shit

It all started Friday, Lucy said "Let’s smoke some pot!"

I said "Oh no lets not, it's shabbot shalom shalom shabbot!"

She said "Why not? We’re all alone, let’s smoke it all, let’s all get stoned

Show you my bra, take off our clothes"

Sounds like a ball, can’t say it don’t (peer pressure)

So we started doing Mary Jane

She crushed up some bud and snorted, so of course I did the same

She wanted more, I didn't abstain

All aboard the aeroplane

Pulled out a needle, shot up weed and now it's coursing through my veins

Now it's forcing me to change, oh my God, I got four legs

"Lucy help! I only did this cuz you promised me foreplay!"

[Hook]

[Verse 2]

"Marc, you need some help, I’m here to get you started"

Opened my eyes and saw a strange man with a beard

"I beg your pardon but where are we?"

The man farted, stood and laughed

"I’m glad you asked, my names Laremie, I’m a wizard, and look, I have implanted calves!"

"What the fuck is going on? Why the fuck am I goat?

He chuckled and said "Calm down son, this what happens when you smoke

This what happens when you toke

We’ll look after you and hope

Your little habit can be broke

Now put this on we have to go"

"Wait a sec

Wait just a min"

Laremie paused and faked a grin

He said "It's tough to take it in

But you’re going to your cage my friend"

Then he waved his wizard wand

And chanted some li'l stupid charm

And when I woke up I was staring at the roof inside a barn

A farmer with a pitchfork poked me, said "Ooh you must be Marc"

As he cackled an evil laugh, and said "Welcome to the farm

We won’t do you any harm, long as you’re a good good goat

Now get inside your cage, where we keep the ones who smoke"

[Hook]

[Verse 3]

Life as a goat, was devasted

But one morning awoke, and Laremie was levitating

He said "You made it, you get to turn back into human, lets celebrate it

Young fella made it, but don't you go get, hella faded, or elevated

Or however the hell you say it, kids these days, dont even know"

I said "I got it, just lemme go"

He waved his wand, clicked his toes

And just like that, I'm not a goat, I'm back to human, oh God has spoke

He said "Good luck, I gotta go, and disappeared, a cloud of smoke" (poof)

So I'm reformed I hope

Got a swarm of hope

I informed my folks

But all they did is scorn and gloat

And mourn I smoked

Rather see me on the corner broke

So I'm just tryna sorta cope

Applied for jobs, but they've all told me "We don't hire former goats

Yo, so kids don't smoke marijuana

Less you wanna, end up, just like me, would you care to be

With Laremie

On a dumb ass farm

In a small ass barn

With a horse named norm

And a pig named poe

If you don't wanna end up

Being changed to a goat

Next time that they smoke

I would just say "No."