I feel myself pulling back again

Even when nothing has gone wrong yet

It’s like my chest knows the ending

Before the story even begins

Every time someone gets close enough to matter

I brace like I’m preparing for disaster

Leaving early feels safer

Than waiting for someone to prove me right

I tell myself it’s protection

But it feels a lot more like fear pretending to bе strength

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

I break thе moment before it breaks me

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

I pull away from hands

That never even tried to hurt me

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

I ruin the softness

Just to keep from feeling anything real

I expect disappointment

Even when no one promises it

I search for cracks that don’t exist yet

Building exits in rooms I haven’t entered fully

I tell myself I’m fine

But it’s a lie I’ve rehearsed too well

Sabotage feels familiar

And familiarity feels like safety

I mastered this habit young—

Leaving before I become the part that’s easy to walk away from

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

I break the moment before it breaks me

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

I pull away from hands

That never even tried to hurt me

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

I ruin the softness

Just to keep from feeling anything real

Sometimes I wonder who I’d be

If I didn’t treat love like a countdown

If I let myself stay

Instead of memorizing every escape route

If I trusted the warmth

Instead of waiting for it to burn

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

I keep choosing the explosion

Before anyone touches the fuse

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

I ruin good things quietly

Then pretend I don’t know why the pieces hurt

SELF-DESTRUCT, SELF-DESTRUCT

(“push the button…”)

If destruction is all I know

No wonder I keep pressing it