[Sample: Bill Murray as a radio DJ]

Okay, I'm not playing any more music for anybody

And that includes myself

Until somebody calls

And pledges some money so that our station does not have to go off the air

I mean why should I bother to play records for you

If you're not even willing to call to pledge a couple of–

A couple of dollars?

A couple of dollars, its not that much money

We've been playing what you want

But we have to have your money

We can't make it without you

We played, uh–Margaux Hemingway's new album

We debuted it, premiered it on this station

Uh, we're the only station in the whole Tri-State area

To play the Phish cheer the whole–all the way through

We play a lot of old stuff

We play a lot of Cher's stuff before she sold out

We play a lot of crap

Bu-but that's what you want, you know?

[Sample]

Your mind's closed!

You're standing tall, just like a tree

But a tree can't think

A tree can't see

Like you and me

It just stands tall, that's all!

Uh oh

You got me wrong

Uh oh

Uh oh

It won't be long

Uh oh

For you to see

That you and me

And him make three

And we're just branches on a tree

Hey

[Sample: Bill Murray as a radio DJ]

And we–we sponsor a lot of public service stuff, man

We had a show on Saturday nights

We had a whole series on how to beat Bank Americard

A lot of people, you know–want us to repeat it, you know

We're getting a lot of heat from the government

We're still gonna repeat it, you know

The management says, "Go ahead and repeat it"

So we're gonna be able to play it for you people again