[Intro: LongestSoloEver]
The sensation of your screen
The show that makes you scream
Say it with him, folks
It's TV Time
[Verse 1: LongestSoloEver]
Straight from your house, we're live
In color, with our own in-studio audience, just the way it oughta be
And the folks at home, the real star of the show
You keep our ratings high (And our overhead low)
Hey there, Doctor Tennaville, what's the perscription?
Every prize our cadoos and cadettes could be winning?
It's a brand new car, a plush toy of your friend
And some floral bath curtains (Can't get that from an egg)
Hey, Mike, hit the lights, show 'em all thе grand prize
That your groovy never glooby mеdiator of the movie
So benevolently rendered for your ever-entertainment
To obtain it, all you gotta do is play (Play, play)
So let me be your TV guide, and keep providing all your time undivided
Every hour on the hour, another show to be devoured
Keep you hooked with all the power that the censors won't allow
(That's not all) It's time for our feature presentation
Grab a snack, grab a soda, 'cause you need to stay awake a little longer
Need your help to keep the ratings stronger
Are you having fun yet? Just sing along now
[Pre-Chorus: LongestSoloEver & Choir]
(I) Can't hear you, say a little louder
(Love) That's right, just don't stop those smiles
(TV) That's the magic word
I tell you, I could hear that ninety-nine more times
[Chorus: LongestSoloEver]
Sit right down and stay for a while
Now, don't you dare touch that dial
We're broadcasting live to you
It's all for you, the idiot box is back in style
Each game and show is action-packed
Just play along with the laugh track
Stick around for the marathon
Don't go nowhere, 'cause we'll be right back
[Interlude: LongestSoloEver]
(Yeah, just make sure you put the airholes in there, or that would be bad)
[Verse 2: LongestSoloEver]
But wait, there's more (Come back), why spend your time scrolling?
There's a world of fun to get to know on your remote controller
Social media's greedy, and Wikipedia's seedy
Just grab a friend and PBS, and you can learn on your TV
There's game shows, quiz shows, shows for no reason
While your streamers leave you hanging, cancel after just one season
Let me help you fall asleep with your favorite programs
You're wakin' up with infomercials 3 o'clock in the a.m
Call now, I'm making a one time deal today
You better act now, the offers goin' away
We've got QVC, why shop online?
Like this kitchen sink fur guard, cryin' for a buyin'
Never buffer, never suffer another meme from your mother
Of the little yellow fellows interrupting your comfort
This media is curated, it's safe and TV-G rated
Thinking twice if you imply that a device could replace it
I'm man's best friend, I'm better than e-mail
Just bask in the cathode glow, detail is overrated
Who needs widescreen? (HD?)
You can see it all in four by three (Wow!)
[Chorus: LongestSoloEver]
Sit right down and stay for a while
Now, don't you dare touch that dial
We're broadcasting live to you
It's all for you, the idiot box is back in style
Each game and show is action-packed
Just play along with the laugh track
Stick around for the marathon
Don't go nowhere—
[Interlude: LongestSoloEver & The Stupendium]
And now, a word from our sponsor
You've got mail (Ha-ha-ha-ha)
[Verse 3: The Stupendium]
Tenna, buddy, maybe take a shave because you're getting fuzzy
Bet that telethon ain't making any money
Do they get reception in the cemetery? (Ask about our retirement plans)
You're like a TV dinner (Not consumed)
Maybe if you checked the Mike, you'd see the dot com boom
Descending into frame, ending of an age
Refresh the page, betting on the elderly does not compute
Take aim, rotting the brainwaves for payday
Mayday, sure, it was great in your heyday
Waylaid, now the domain's mine to lay claim
Ohh, but let's have a look at what you could've won
You've gotta face reality (TV)
All the kids are in the queue for my VC
Caught up in the net, your tears are streaming
Netflix and children (Not another Cocomelon)
[Bridge: LongestSoloEver]
Woah mama, what the heck is that thing?
Just a rat in the net? Washed up has-been?
Stay away from our prize
We've made it this far, everything's going perfect
What was that in the dark?
Eh, it's probably nothing
[Chorus: LongestSoloEver]
(Just sit right down)
Sit right down and stay for a while
Now, don't you dare touch that dial (Don't touch that dial)
We're broadcasting live to you
It's all for you, the idiot box is back in style
Each game and show is action-packed
Just play along with the laugh track (Just play along)
Stick around for the marathon
Don't go nowhere, 'cause we'll be right back
[Outro: LongestSoloEver]
(So stay and believe in the TV)
Thanks for watching
TV time will be right back next week
(You're already seated, enjoying the show)
Fridays at 10 a.m., 9 central
Here on LSE
(So promise that you'll never leave me)
See ya next time
(Forgotten again, I don't want you to go)
I-I will see you, right?
You're coming back?
Please