[NARRATOR]

Inamidst the terror

He forced an unforced error

The ball, it spun

In fervour and won

A first-class flight to Canberra

But never he wasn't in Canberra

And never 'e seen a rambler

It had begun

That government dun

The door-rap an incessant timbre

[CH. INVESTIGATOR]

You're not quite off the hook yet

You're very much still on it

We've checked your house, your clothes, your teeth

Only time till the rental car bonnet

[TENNIS]

"It's a sure thing, a certain vacation"

Spake the snaketongued claimedly-Haitian

Such an agreeable proclamation

Disguising floccinaucinihilipilification

"Sobeit," said the liar

"And you'll be set-"

I swear by it, sir

He had me by the debt!

[The CH. INSPECTOR's INTERNAL MONOLOGUE]

(sdne esool tucnu evah seirots ruoY

Nos ,uoy eveileb ot drah etiuq ti dnif I ,lleW)

[CH. INSPECTOR]

If you did it for the money

Where's the money, then?

[TENNIS]

I spent it, sir, on hookers and drugs

I spent it on girls and plugs

I spent it on dullards and frugs

I spent it on martyrs and slugs

I spent it, I spent it all

Untraceable? Who knows

[The CH. INSPECTOR's INTERNAL MONOLOGUE]

Says he is a natural

Says he's a pro

Lost to Ibrahimović

And couldn't let go

He's a coward

He's a fool

He'd rather do this and

Lie to us all

[CH. INVESTIGATOR]

Inamidst the fright

You whacked the ball far-right

The crowd were stunned

It stood love-one

And never did you take flight

And never were you in Canberra

That's why you ne'er seen a rambler

You yourself shunned

Youself getting sun

So you find yourself a gambler

You preproperated!

And you pernoctated!

(And you made it all up!

You idiot)

[Outro]

(Floccinaucinihilipilification, floccinaucinihilipilification)

(Floccinaucinihilipilification, floccinaucinihilipilification)

(Floccinaucinihilipilification, floccinaucinihilipilification)

(Floccinaucinihilipilification, floccinaucinihilipilification...)

(Oh for fuck's-)