[Intro: Police & LL Cool J]

Calling all cars, calling all cars

Be on the lookout for a tall light-skinned brother with dimples

Wearing a black Kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers

Last seen on Farmers Boulevard heading east.

Alias "LL Cool J", he's bad

Ahh

[Verse 1: LL Cool J]

No rapper can rap quite like I can

I'll take a muscle-bound man and put his face in the sand

Not the last mafioso, I'm an emcee cop

Make you say "Go LL," and do the Wop

If you think you can out-rhyme me, yeah, boy, I bet

'Cause I ain't met a motherfucker who can do that yet

Trendsetter, I'm better, my rhymes are good

I got a gold-made plate that says "I wish you would"

And when battles begin, then, I gotta join in, and

Before my rhyme is over, you know I'ma win

Cool J has arrived, so you better make way

Ask anybody in the crowd, they say the kid don't play

Slaughter competition, that's my hobby and job

I don't wear a disguise because I don't owe the mob

Got a pinpoint rap that makes you feel trapped

So many girls on my jock, I think my phone is tapped, I'm bad

[Refrain: LL Cool J]

Cool J, Cool J, Cool J, Cool-Cool-Cool-Cool-Cool J-J

Cool J, Cool-Cool-Cool-Cool, Cool-Cool-Cool-Cool J, J-J-J, J-J-J-J-J

[Verse 2: LL Cool J]

I'm like Tyson, ice and I'm a soldier at war

I'm makin' sure you don't try to battle me no more

Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years

And even when I'm braggin', I'm being sincere

Emcees can't win, I make 'em rust like tin

They call me "Jaws," my hat is like a shark's fin

Because I'm bad as can be, got my voice on wax

Some brothers think he's makin' records, now he must've relaxed

I couldn't and shouldn't, and it'll stay that way

The best rapper you've heard is LL Cool J

Kamikaze, take a look at what I've done

Used to rock in my basement, now I'm number one

And can happen on time, never standing on line

You wanna try me? First, you better learn how to rhyme

I'm the pinnacle; that means I reign supreme

And I'm notorious; I'll crush you like a jellybean, I'm bad

[Interlude: Police]

Suspect was last spotted with three other members of his group

DJ Bobcat and E-Love and then Cut Creator

They are extremely bad, so keep your eyes open

Use extreme caution

[Verse 3: LL Cool J]

I eliminate punks, cut 'em up in chunks

You were souped, you heard me and your ego shrunk

I'm devastating, I'm so good it's a shame

'Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal, they call me insane

I'm as strong as a bull, of course you know why I pull

I enjoy what I'm doing plus I'm paid in full

Not Buckaroo Banzai, but bustin' out as I

Say the kind of rhymes that make emcees wish that I'd die

Never retire or put my mic on the shelf

The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself

Not bitter or mad, just provin' I'm bad

You want a hit? Give me a hour plus a pen and a pad

Emcees retreat 'cause they know I can beat 'em

And eat 'em in a battle and the ref won't cheat 'em

I'm the baddest, takin' out all rookies

So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies, I'm bad

[Refrain: LL Cool J]

Cool J, Cool J (Bob), Cool J (Yo, we get it), Cool J-J-J

Cool J-J, J, Cool, Cool J

[Verse 4: LL Cool J]

Never ever, no never

Never wearin' no Levis, battle me? Why try?

I'll treat you like a stepchild, so tell mommy, "Bye, bye"

Slaughterin' emcees and I'ma never get whipped

When I retire, I'll get worshiped like a old battleship

LL, I'm bad, all the rappers know

When I enter the center, they say, "Yo, yo, there he go"

My paycheck's large, Mr. Bogart in charge

Not a punter or a hunter from a raccoon lodge

The original Todd teachin' how to be hard

Take the skin off a snake and split a pea from a pod

You're a novice, I'm noble and I dissect with my tongue

Not Attila the Hun, Khan or Abdullah Hussein

My vocals exact, like rack and pinion in a Jag

You try to brag, you get your rhymes from a grab-bag

No good scavenger, catfish vulture

My tongue's a chisel and this composition's sculptor, I'm bad

[Outro: Police & LL Cool J]

Think I'm gonna need backup

Think I'm gonna need backup

Give me that walkie-talkie

Yo, this is LL Cool J and you'll never catch me so don't even try it

'Cause I'm too bad for ya, understand?

Ahh

I'm bad