[Intro]

This is HDFW base to Chocolate Starfish, reading, over

Chocolate Starfish, reading, over

Your mission, Universal Communication

Was your mission completed?

Affirmative, permission to terminate

Permission granted

Bring it on!

[Instrumental]

[Skit: Ben Stiller & Fred Durst]

Fuck Limp Bizkit, man! Jesus...

"Ooh, I can put a Z in my name, I'm bad!

I'm never gonna move out of Jacksonville

I'm livin' in fuckin' Hollywood," huh

Hmm, you know this is my first, uh, rock slash rap album

So, it's kind of new for me, the whole pop world, you know

This is a phat beat, by the way, and I'm talkin' P.H. phat

Thank you, uh, to, uh, DJ Lethal for this phat beat

Did you grow up with DJ Lethal, Fred?

Y'know? *laughing*

And did you call him DJ Lethal when you were kids?

(That's his name) That's what his mama named him, huh?

Ooh, little DJ Lethal

Can't mess with Limp Bizkit, 'cause we get it on every day and every night

So, back it up, you know what I'm sayin'?

What, you don't like Limp Bizkit?

What? No no no, I think Limp Bizkit is great, man!

What do you like about us?

Um, I like that you're so fuckin' out there with your message

Uh, you know, "Shut the fuck up, man!"

Watch out, mom! Big bad rock star

Are you serious?

"Ooh, I can slash your ass with a chainsaw!"

No, I'm just saying

The message of being able to slash someone's ass, that's a good message to put out there

And with a chainsaw, we're gonna get it down raw or whatever

You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about, right?

*laughing*

So obviously, you really don't— you're not down with the Bizkit

No, no, I'm limpin' with the Bizkit! I'm totally limpin' with the Bizkit, man

I am limpin' with the Bizkit! *laughing*

Totally

And would you pay?

Are you gonna pay money to listen to this record?

This record? Which one, this one?

You mean, uh, Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water? Haha!

So yeah, cut the beat and let's start this shit up, ok?

Come on, shut the fuck up, and start this shit up

It's all crazy thrash, punk, pop, metal to you

But it's somewhere out there in the annals

You know, up there with Rod Stewart and, uh, uh

Uh, Rod Stewart is the Bizkit, man

I mean, I'm talkin', when you're limpin' with the Bizkit

You're talkin' about the major groups in rock 'n' roll

Who else could take rap, hip-hop, thrash, punk-metal

Take it, throw it in the can, spin it around

And come out with something that wasn't fertilizer?

And it was the Bizkit, the Limp Bizkit, man

And when they came on the scene, I don't care what you say

"Counterfeit" blew the fuckin' people downtown!

*repeated laughter*

[Hidden Track]

[Phone Call: Fred Durst and Stephan Jenkins]

*phone ringing*

Hello?

Yo

Hello?

Wassup bro?

Stephan

Where you at?

Guess

Where you at?

*sings* "I don't wanna go to London"

You're in London?

Yeah

What are you doing?

Eatin' some food

Fish 'n' chips?

(both laugh)

I wish I was eating fish 'n' chips, I dunno what I'm eating

It's late at night

What time is it where you are?

Um, I'm trying to get ready to do another show, woah!

Dude, everytime I talk to you, you're gettin' ready to do another show

When are ya comin' back to Cali?

Um, I think I got another week left here

I wish you'd meet me in New York, we could kick it

Dude

Alright, well, rock on bro

Right on, man

Right on

[Answering Machine: Rob Dyrdek]

Sup, Fred? It's Rob

I'm just trying to catch up with you

I be doing the X Games and shit

Ah, just lettin' you, I mean, ultimately, it's-

I'm tryin' this skate park down here, it's sick as fuck man

It's probably like Big League, man

All grey ramps, like, studio walls, like, giant DC logos and shit!

[Answering Machine: Mark Wahlberg]

Yo, what's up, man? It's Mark

I didn't reach you last night, so I don't know if you're still in New York

It's uh, Friday, about 1:50

Uh, give me a call back-

What kind of bullshit is this, man? This shit is good

What you got here, you just check motherfuckers before they call?

Lemme know what that shit is, man, I gotta get some of that

Alright, peace