[Intro]

Wassup, wassup y'all

LD a.k.a. Young Dick

Had to make a track about smoking weed, man

Every rapper got a track about smoking weed, so I didn't really have a choice

But, I guess I made mine a little bit different is all

It's like, it's like, it's like

[Verse 1]

Blowin' somethin' sticky, word to pre-cum dicks

I'm with my team in this bitch and we all getting lit

I mean the weed hella loud, like a teenage chick

And we been smokin' for a minute, yeah, we blowin' on that ganja

And now I'm huffin' and puffin', I'm chokin' on that bong

And the dope I'm on is bomb, I'm smokin' that Vietcong

Getting real high, watchin' funny videos of Bill Nye

Tell me that this jam isn't still fly

[Interlude]

*Bill Nye theme song playing in the background*

"Ayo, check this out... hahahaha..."

"Oh, my god... I forgot all about this shit

This shit is fucking crazy... hahahaha..."

"Holy shit..!

Wow, I'm like, uncomfortably high..."

[Verse 2]

Now I'm getting hungrier than a motherfucker

Put some chicken nuggets in the oven at 400

Where'd I put that honey mustard?

Lookin' all around the cupboard for that motherfucker

Until I discovered a custard, I covered with butter from last week

How long do them thangs keep?

Guess I better ask Jeeves

Go get my computer, but I'm starin' at the damn screen (Wow)

Damn D, you forgettin' what your task be

The puff-puff pass gotcha gassed, now your man is fucked

[Chorus]

And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff, but I think I'm way too high

And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit, but I think my brains too fried

And, yeah, I'm fuckin' faded, but I hate it

I'm prayin' that I make it, afraid I'm goin' to die

I'm too blazed, it's too late

To save Dicky from this fuckin' place, cause he too high

[Verse 3]

Now I'm freakin' out up in this bitch

Can't control it and my homies passin' round another spliff

So I bolted to the BR, consulted with the mirror

Lil Dicky please step up, you pathetic

Cause the weed in you beating you

Then all a sudden I'm on the toilet beatin' my penis blue

But I ain't cummin' because as I'm imaginin' fuckin' somethin'

That pretty girl I'm humpin'

Becoming my fuckin' cousin, or mother or brother

Or some other fucking disgusting person

My brain is bein' strange, 'cause I'm high as a plane

I ain't deranged, I'm just sayin' it's a violent strain

So I go back to the back where they packing up cigars

Dippin' snacks, kickin' back, starin' at some Avatars

Then I flipped, took a decade and a half to make that shit

Yet they couldn't put a second and a half up in that script

How the fuck a human being wanna fuck a blueish green 7' 3'' tail-havin'-ass thing?

Man, I'm high as fuck

[Chorus]

And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff, but I think I'm way too high

And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit, but I think my brains too fried

And, yeah, I'm fuckin' faded, but I hate it

I'm prayin' that I make it, afraid I'm goin' to die

I'm too blazed, it's too late

To save Dicky from this fuckin' place, cause he too high

[Verse 4]

Rock hard cock, 'cause I'm watchin' Katy Perry

And in her video the whole world's made of candy (Wow)

Damn, I ain't even got no candy

So now I'm at the fucking C store where your man be torn than a motherfucker

Peanut M&M's or a Twix? Can't commit, so I count the benefits on my hands

Goddamn, now I'm weary of the man, yeah the cashier, “Homeland”, Nazir!

S-S-S-So damn tweaked

I can't even cross the motherfuckin' street

Gotta wait until that motherfuckin' green

Now I'm back up at the crib, and I'm laughin' at giraffes long necks

Gotta shit, but the path to the bathroom is complex

Crafted a long text, took about an hour

Took a scary shower, now I'm sittin' naked on the ground

Man, I'm fucked up

I'm bout to call my mom up and tell her what's up

This sucks, I'm high as fuck

[Chorus]

And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff, but I think I'm way too high

And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit, but I think my brains too fried

And, yeah, I'm fuckin' faded, but I hate it

I'm prayin' that I make it, afraid I'm goin' to die

I'm too blazed, it's too late

To save Dicky from this fuckin' place, cause he too high

[Outro]

Oh my god

This shit is not fun, man

I can't stop thinkin' 'bout weird ass shit

Watching Lady Gaga

I can't stop thinking about who the fuck Alejandro is

Who the fuck is he?

Jerking off, I came during the position change

Like, in the porn, like when they was changing positions, I came

Ain't nothing worse than that

Nothing worse than that shit, everybody knows that

Aye, but like, I've been thinking 'bout like

When the sun goes behind the clouds, what does it do?

Like, does it smile?

Like, what does it do, does it show it's dick?

It's something to think about

Like it's doing something, and we can't see it

So like, what's it doin? I don't even know like, what it's doing

Because, if it's showing it's dick, I'm tryna see that

I bet the sun got a big ass dick

Alright, I gotta go to bed

Fuck, I forgot about them chicken nuggets from the first verse

They still in the oven, damn, probably burnt as shit by now

I guess I gotta go get them, fire hazard

Goodnight