[Intro: Lil Dicky]

Whoa... so hard

Jews is never supposed to go H.A.M., but fuck it

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Okay dat boy D-I-C-K-Y ballin'

I been spittin' hella writtens cuz I'm finna get my wallet good

Bitches know I holla good

Graduated college wit a bag of fucking honors but instead of making dollars

I been acting like a kid

Rappin' bout my fuckin' dick

And what started as a joke became the hottest fuckin' shit

Killin' bitches, Michael Vick, and women you know what this is

Semi-colons in my texts, my instant message game is sick (HO!)

Fuck that shit, when I rub that bitch

When I be up in the club I gotta tuck that dick

When I bring a chicken back, and then I fuck that bitch

I'mma cum quick, I ain't playin' witcha

Ay you know, I'm spittin crack up on the track

I'm not attacking all you blacks

Who try to rap, but I'm just saying that

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

I'm coming for these muthafuckin' brothas making money

Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now

Ladies get them pants down

Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

I ain't on that kosher shit

Facebook I be poking chicks

Came up in the 90's yeah im on some Hocus Pocus shit

I don't push a lotus, I'm drivin a fuckin' Focus

But notice that I got the coldest and dopest designer sodas

I'm an Izze sippin', bitty-kissin muthafuckin' G

The way I cum on chickens, call Lil' Dicky mozzarella cheese

I'm getting pussy, getting bread, I get a lot of fucking yeast

And I been Dustin Diamonds off, they bout to call Lil' Dicky Screech (WHOA!)

Tampon shit, 'cuz I rap for the flow

And I get a lotta bitches when I mac like a pro

Gotta mac, it's a pro, never nap, but I doze

I'm a little bit of black, like I shat in the snow

And I know ya'll bitches feelin' that

Ain't as nobody real as that

Rappin' like Jamaica’s population, I been killin' tracks

(Like, in the Olympic Games? You ain’t get it?)

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

I'm coming for these muthafuckin' brothas making money

Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now

Ladies get them pants down

Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]

See them bitches over there?

Please don't fucking over-stare

That's who I be stroking, young and smoking like they over DARE

Okay I was joking, I don't know dem I should grow a pair

But I am not the most efficient closer when I'm sober, scared

So I'm drinkin, fuck you thinkin'?

Middle Day that's word to Lincoln

My left foot is always stinkin'

I ball good so I ain't blinkin'

Baby whatcha know about a muthafuckin' dog

Fuckin' cats up the ass metaphorically...uh, paws

(I got that pause in on time, right?)

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

I'm coming for these muthafuckin' brothas making money

Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now

Ladies get them pants down

Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now