Jettin' off to the coast where the girls all taste like toast

I'm getting off at the coast where the boys all taste like soap

And when I get to Pasadena, I'm gonna jettison your ghost

I'm getting off at the place where the boys all taste like paste

I'm getting off on the place where the girls all get so wasted

And when I get to Sacramento, gonna jettison your facelift

So hike up your hitchhiking shorts, we're road trippin'

I walked into the walk-in cooler, I bought into the three day bender

And the guys in the bathroom wanna meet my girl in the backroom

They say they got some message from someone who's been trying to get through

Now we're going to the land of the liquid tan

They've got a hardcore scene and no straight-edge bands

I feel like I've been double-teamed by the liquor and the cig machine

And they reached into his pocket, grabbed onto his wallet

And his car keys, yeah we're home free

And all these twin cities are ganging up on me lately

And I've been digging through the ashtrays