[Verse 1: Lizzie]

Isn't this an awful piece of news to start the day?

I heard that Joey took my axolotl far away

And while in flight that evil thief did tumble off the tower

But still he took my baby boy, my darling little flower

So I left my empire and I took a jungle treck

I found his central temple and I stormed right up the steps

Angered by his insolence and driven to a rage

I stole the Tiger Blood Prince and I put him in a cage

[Verse 2: Lizzie, Joey, Sausage]

I spotted Joey spying so I put him to the test

"Let us meet at sundown in the desert to the west

Nobody gets hurt and we still both get our own way"

He said, "If you try any funny business, there'll be hell to pay"

I went to visit Sausage in his empire to the south

A place where many enter, but few ever make it out

He laughed and he said "Welcome to the assassin's guild!"

I informed him of the stand-off and I said "Have Joey killed"

[Bridge: Lizzie]

So we met at sundown by the desert rail tracks

We both pressed the lever and we got our babies back

Then Sausage the assassin shot us both stone dead

He said he double-crossed me then he tossed me Joey's head

[Outro: Lizzie]

We both got what we wanted

And we got what we deserved

In our selfishness we both forgot to self-preserve

And so a double-murder somehow brought us back together

And now our pair of Empires can live in peace forever

Right?