[Verse 1]
Radio silence, you never give the time of day
I can't confide in you, it's a heady price I pay
Kill me with the memory, barely even know my name
You're not making sense to me, come back when you want to change
I can't bear this cross every day of my sad life
And when I cross the bridge over to the great divine
I'll remember you fondly, even with the baggage there
My words have fallen on deaf ears, even though I always cared
[Chorus]
Guide me through all of the vines that got tangled up
I feel like we can still shine without making love
Learning my limits, l'll keep my restraint from us
Summertime hit me so hard, I felt my color rust
I'm sorry for the way I was, I didn't know what to do
When I find my drive, oftentimes I hit a wall or two
When I get back home, I can't promise that l'll speak to you
I just hope you know that I'm fine, and I will get there soon
[Verse 2]
Times it took to circle back to what it was before I lacked
The confidence to tell you things that deeply scar my very being
I say this all to say I'm lost again, and it's a pricey cost
To turn around and act the way they want me to, but it's not me
They see outright, the real me doesn't show upfront, I know you love it
In a while, I'll be okay, but that day will not come today
Tomorrow isn't promised, so I'll do the things I always wanted
Sit, recite a lonely sonnet, then repeat it all tomorrow
Problems that aren't forward facing plague me 'til my dying day
And it's a curse that l've been breathing since that cold December evening
In 2005, that night that I had made my grand arrival
Everyone was happy, smiling, 19 years went by, I'm writhing
Met up with my former self to tell him that I wish him well
And it won't be this way forever, but it gets worse before better
I'm entangled in a loop that I can't break unless I do
My very best to kill these demons, I'm just grateful I'm still breathing
[Outro]
(So I'll throw up my arms)
(Keep my distance from you)
('Cause that's where the pain starts)
(So what else can I do?)