She broke up with me

Two days later...

I think she met Don Juan in Italy

She has a new man

I have a new mustache

Now all my friends are gonna call me mountain man

And everyone will think that I'm a stupid drifter

To walk the earth alone

I'll never shave again

On the night she left me

Facial hair grew miraculously

I dressed in black like Johnny Cash

And grew this beard of shame

I've heard it said she looks a lot like Sherilyn Fenn

And some times i'm mistaken for Billy Gibbons

Look like a wise man, but I'm an idiot

It's over

She left me

And she will soon forget me

She found out I was lame

I grew a beard of shame

Come all ye faithful

Joyful and triumphant

I am a new man

I have a beard of shame