Yo, have you heard about my man

I heard he's caught in a five year plan

New house, new rules

AirTags on his Air Max shoes

Joint account on Tik Tok

Lovey dovey on his profile picture

New vows with matching bracelets

Lockdown on his WhatsApp favourites

I think he's changed her name in his phone

Cos he doesn't want all his friends to know

That she calls him a thousand times

When he's out cos she can't be alone

He's got a stan on his hands

But he lost touch with his biggest fans

He fell from the stage to the sofa

With his two man band, gamе over

Stop chokin' man

What u been smokin' man

You used to hang out the passеnger side

Of your best friend's ride

But now your scrubbin' up the four wheel drive

On a Saturday night

With wifey by your side

You know, I know, she knows that

You have lost your mind

1+1 that's double

Baby trap, he's in trouble

That boys on hold

He don't answer the phone

I know I know

The mans in another timezone

Friday night I went to the bar

And there he's stood with the girl on his arm

She looked at me like (ewwww)

So I walked over

He was stone cold sober

Before I could open my mouth

She gave me the cold shoulder

Going for gold

With her fake tan nose

She keeps on giving me the evils

I can see it in her eyes that she wants to go home

But tonight was the night that he wanted to propose

Truth be told

I think he looks ten years older

But I can't really ask if he's alright

Cos she won't let the poor man out of her sight

He says he's just gonna go with the flow

But I think he already fell out the boat

Romantic panic

Sinking faster than Titanic

Wedding planning

Swapped a dinghy for a diamond

It won't inflate

And now he's stranded on love island

1+1 that's double

Baby trap, he's in trouble

That boys on hold

He don't answer the phone

I know I know

The mans in another timezone

1+1 that's a struggle

I'm tripping out, i'm seeing double

Ring ring ring he don't answer the phone

I know I know

The mans in another timezone

"I'll go to the gym 5 nights a week

And I'm gonna swap beer for a light green tea

I'll buy you a house on a boujee street

Along with a Tesla, interest free

Book a bi-yearly couples retreat

And listen to ted talks on the beach

We can go Swiss without the cheese

And live our life like a highlight reel"