[Verse 1]

It started with a Nokia

When I was nine

Things quickly progressed

And I married a device

She's sticking to my fingers

Like a digital wife

I wouldn't mind

But I didn't even swipe right

She's always there

Until her battery dies

She's got a front row seat

To the screening of my eyesight

First class degree in

Saving everything I see

Little freak

She even watches when I sleep

[Verse 2]

She says we got

A strong connection

But I'm not sure I agree

Cos on an average day

She's only got 3g

Always tries to please me

With her expertise

Advertising queen

I think she's tapped into my dreams

Working on the front lines

Of digital seduction

She keeps pushing all my buttons

Until I give up all my substance

I didn't get no confirmation

When I filled out all the fields

And now she's filling up my inbox

With her out of date deals

[Verse 3]

I try to keep it low key

With a VPN

But when I lurk about

She never lets me in

She locks the door

With her t&c's

Puts her foot down on the screen

Until I reluctantly agree

To the small print

Don't know what it means

Twenty pages long

I need a law school degree

See, my life's like a

Never ending digital receipt

Except I never got a

Thirty day guarantee

[Verse 4]

Ping ping ping until

My ears are ringing

Tap tap tap until

My fingers tingle

Ten thousand steps

And she renews the vows

Sends me a gift

That expires in an hour

Cookie jar reject, spam on toast

I caught her cheating with the bloke

That's got a silicon prose

Think it's a shame though

That we broke up at the paywall

If she didn't steal my bits

I think we'd both be on the payroll

[Chorus]

Data rape, data rape

Data rape, data rape

Data rape, data rape

Data rape, data rape

[Outro]

Call me a millennial

I live like a perennial

I keep it all centennial

I feel extra terrestrial

I ain't no hero protagonist

I'm just living in a world of insanity