(Spoken Intro)

There’s gonna be some people who will not like this one

(Verse One)

I’m barely threads after twenty five years

From constantly crying to masquerading my tears

Doesn’t matter that I’m facing and living my biggest fears

Doesn’t matter that I dream of bullets in between my ears

As long as I am smiling and my mouth says “I’m okay”

As long as they wake up tomorrow and I live to see the day

And I keep my head on shoulders because they say that’s the only way

They all will grab their forks and knives and take turns stirring up my brain

(Chorus)

You say that you need me

But you just need something from me

If you don’t need something from me

You just don’t want to see ugly

But I’m ripping off my face

Cuz they already curse my name

And if I do not play their game

Then I’m already out the frame

(Verse Two)

I’m barely hanging on after eighty thousand heartbreaks

And with childhoods like mine, it’s soothing when the world shakes

Like a mother rocking baby, if there’s stillness then I’m a-wake

I used to be transparent but the world made me this opaque

Cuz they only like the dolls that are shiny new in package

They only want to play if they’re the one ripping the plastic

And they’d buy the little add ons if they wanted all my baggage

But, I’m put back on the shelf now that my limbs are not elastic

(Chorus)

You say that you need me

But you just need something from me

If you don’t need something from me

You just don’t want to see ugly

But I’m ripping off my face

Cuz they already curse my name

And if I do not play their game

Then I’m already out the frame

(Bridge)

You don’t know what you are to them

Until they put you on the shelf

And take you off when they so please

It becomes such familiar hell

When dust is caking on my flesh

I’d take the bones out of my limbs

Just so that I can bend again

And cater to potential whims

When you are hungry to be held

You might fall into hostile hands

And getting out is tooth and nail

They don’t want you to take a stand

But somehow still I balance

Based on their own expectations

And I’m feeling all the pressure

Of their heavy affirmations

(Outro)

So, yeah, I’m fucking angry

And I’m sick of being weak

But also sick of acting strong

When I just wanna feel defeat

Don’t want to stay because they said

But, I won’t leave because of them

And I can’t tell them how I feel

So I whisper it to the pen

(Spoken)

Fuck this shit