(Verse One)

I’m pleading, praying on my knees

Think God has turned his back on me

Repenting now I’ve done the deed

And hoping that I’ll soon be freed

I let this devil steal my soul

All on a quest just to feel whole

But instead bound by his control

I’ve said my lines, I played the roll

Now I’m tattooed with the script

There’s no way to be rid of it

Just puzzles that I can’t decrypt

They say abused, he says I’m whipped

No matter what, I can’t escape

Tried to shed skin, tried changing shapes

You still remain my worst mistake

Undеr your weight, I’m bout to break

(Pre Chorus)

Was on thе prowl for different

Anything that could shake this ache

He said he’s the exception

But any point he’d make was fake

Really thought that he was different

I took the bait then he flaked

Just another empty promise

Became opaque so they couldn’t take

(Chorus)

Bartered one hell for another

When I slipped under his covers

Held onto oxytocin

Pretended I was chosen

Trade one hell for another

Just looking for a lover

I was so naive chasing bliss

Sprinting right into the abyss

(Verse Two)

Been trying, pleasing on my knees

Know that I turned my back on me

Felt good when I had done the deed

But the aftermath never filled my needs

Let strangers use, discard me

And act like it didn’t scar me

Hide behind every guitar lead

Yeah I made it through, just hardly

Now with a tallied body count

Any man I meet expresses doubt

I’d do anything to undo that route

To fix it now is my own account

Just wanted to feel protected

Cuz all I was then was neglected

My services were respected

But in the end, I was still rejected

(Pre Chorus)

Was on the prowl for different

Anything that could shake this ache

He said he’s the exception

But any point he’d make was fake

Really thought that he was different

I took the bait and then he flaked

Just another empty promise

Became opaque so they couldn’t take

(Chorus)

Bartered one hell for another

When I slipped under his covers

Held onto oxytocin

Pretended I was chosen

Trade one hell for another

Just looking for a lover

I was so naive chasing bliss

Ran right through the abyss

(Bridge)

When will a man be gentle

Instead of just judgmental

All I’ve seen is temperamental

That can’t be coincidental

Just searching for my other half

Crave memories in weathered photographs

When I say my dreams, they all just laugh

Lost in the woods, trying to find my path

Cuz who am I if I don’t want love

Fought all my life, now I’m giving up

Only spirits in it when I fill my cup

Maybe I’m simply not good enough

Crave to be touched by a tender hand

Not a callused one with his harsh demands

I can’t begin to understand

In flight all my life, I just want to land

I’ve tried so hard to let it go

Climbed up the mountain for this plateau

Why can’t I take all that I know

And apply it so that I can grow

All I’ve known is gross mistreatment

And reacting with appeasement

Never proud of my achievements

I didn’t reach my goal to feel needed

(Chorus)

Bartered one hell for another

When I slipped under his covers

Held onto hope when it was hopeless

Let them play till I was broken

Trade one hell for another

Just trying to find a lover

I failed my quest for happiness

As I ran straight into the abyss

(Outro)

I tried to be a fetish

I tried to play the games

I’ve said yes when I meant no

By the devil, I was claimed

I felt shame in being shameless

Let them toy with me and break me

I looked for my salvation

Trapped in hell, no one can save me